Thursday, July 5, 2007

Hail to the A, baby!

Alas...'twas too good to be true for our hero, Ash.


Panel 1 - Captain Ash poses with the American flag in his left hand, while he gives a salute with his right han...uh...chainsaw.

BC: "And I will continue to fight for truth, justice, and...and..."


Panel 2 - same as the first, but the flag drops.

BC: "uh...klaatu varada nikto! Yeah."

Voice balloon from off-panel: "CUT!"


Panel 3 - A director approaches Captain Ash. He tries not to meet BC's eyes.

Director: "Thank you Mr Campbell, uh...we'll let you know if you...uh...get the part."

BC: "Wasn't I great? Remember: I want my full name to appear on the credits. That's 'Ashley J. Williams'. And I want a hotty to play Sharon Carter. That chick from sporting goods at S-mart would be perfect."


Panel 4 - Both men just stand there. Silence.


Panel 5 - Captain Ash talking to the director again.

BC: "What? Was the acting not good enough? Look, maybe I didn't say every tiny syllable, no. But..."


Panel 6 - More silence.


Panel 7 - Captain Ash talking.

BC: "Could I at least keep the costume?"


Panel 8 -
Captain Ash, still in costume, standing atop some electrical appliances in S-Mart. There's a huge S-Mart sign to show where he is.

Dialogue box: "My name is Ashley J. Williams. I work at the Housewares section of S-Mart. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart."


Panel 9 - The camera starts closing in on Captain Ash. Only his profile fits the panel now.

Dialogue box: "Sure, I could have been a star. I could have been the king of Hollywood. But in my own way, I AM king."


Panel 10 - Close up of Captain Ash's face. His finger is pointed at the "A" on his forehead.

Dialogue box: "My name is Ashley J. Williams."

BC: "Hail to the A, baby."

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