In a tribute to my beloved Geelong Cats playing this Saturday in the AFL Grand Final, let's have too felines battle it out in today's Last Man Standing feature!
From the DC Universe, Batman's former paramour and long-time nemesis/ally, it's Selina Kyle, Catwoman!
From the Marvel Universe, Spider-man's former fuckbuddy and possible booty-call partner, it's Felicia Hardy, the Black Cat!
Tale of the Tape
Jumps across the rooftops of:
Catwoman - Gotham City
Black Cat - New York City
Kinky weapon of choice
Catwoman - Black leather whip
Black Cat - sex appeal
Hates:
Catwoman - long dangly thread-like things
Black Cat - hairballs
Favourite cartoon character
Catwoman - Azrael, Gargamel's cat from the Smurfs
Black Cat - Felix
Most noticeable feature
Catwoman - cat cowl made famous in "Ghost World"
Black Cat - S&M bondage leather-tight suit with furry accessories
THE PLAYERS:
Selina Kyle worked as a prostitute until her sister Maggie was abducted and violently abused by Selina's pimp. Selina kills her pimp and then goes on to be the anti-hero and sometime villain Gotham would come to know as Catwoman!
The daughter of a famous cat burglar, Felicia Hardy was raped at a young age by her college boyfriend. Hating the idea of being a victim, she trained in various fighting styles and acrobatics but her boyfriend was killed before she could get her revenge. Felicia then followed in her father's footsteps as the furry feline with bad luck powers, the Black Cat!
THE BATTLE:
Selina Kyle is hosting a charity for Gotham's elite in which the famous jewels of the Nile are being displayed from her own private collection. "How I wish Bruce were here to see this," Selina thinks to herself. "I've become one of Gotham's most well-known socialites!"
As the last guest leaves for the evening and Selina shuts the doors to the ballroom, a black figure slinks from the shadows in the ceiling. Careful not to trip any invisible wires, Felicia Hardy licks her lips as she carefully removes the glass container holding the jewels. "Come to momma, my pretties!" Felicia exclaims, hardly believing how easy this heist was turning out to be.
Without warning, a crack thunders through the air and Felicia feels hot needles of pain shooting through her hand, forcing her to drop the glass container which shatters on the ground. "Just what do you think you're doing bitch?" Catwoman asks as she emerges from the shadows, twirling her trusty whip menacingly around. "Funny, I didn't think there was another cat burglar for miles," Felicia taunts as she licks off the fresh blood streaming from the open wound on her hand.
The two combatants circle each other steathily, neither one making a sound. At the same instant, both females leap at each other and both land on the ground, hissing at each other and tearing at each other's costumes. A piece of Black Cat's white fur flies; a portion of Catwoman's skin-tight costume gets torn down the middle. Both combatants refuse to let go of each other and try to claw each other's eyes out.
As the two ladies roll around along the ground, the unthinkable happens: the chandelier from the roof gets dislodged from its housing and it falls to the ground. With a swift kick to Catwoman's midsection, Black Cat frees herself from Catwoman's grasp and rolls out of the way...just in time as the chandelier crashes into the prone body of Catwoman. Still semi-conscious, Catwoman manages to let out a soft groan: "Those...jewels...are...Bruce's..." Black Cat picks herself off the ground and aims another kick at Catwoman's head, knocking her truly unconscious.
"Sorry sugar, but bad luck follows anyone trying to tangle with me," she purrs as she gathers the jewels and stuffs them in her loot sack. "And there's only room for one top cat in this city!"
Winner: The Black Cat
Meow.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
LMS: Silver Surfer Vs Dr Manhattan
Let's pit two of the most powerful members in their respective universes against each other! On the one side, Norrin Radd. On the other, Dr Jon Osterman!
Tale of the Tape
Home:
Silver Surfer - space, originally Zenn-La
Dr Manhattan - New York City
Nature:
Silver Surfer - compassionate, loves all living things
Dr Manhattan - aloof, thinks he's above all living things
Complexion:
Silver Surfer - chrome silver, shiny, smooth and cold to the touch
Dr Manhattan - sky blue, blends in when standing in front of a blue screen
Most often mistaken for:
Silver Surfer - T-1000 from Terminator 2
Dr Manhattan - a balder, nuder version of Blue Devil
Most distasteful feature:
Silver Surfer - the surfboard. What is this, the 90s?
Dr Manhattan - walking around nude 80 per cent of the time
THE PLAYERS:
In order to save his home planet from the planet-eater Galactus, Norrin Radd pledges to serve as Galactus' herald, surfing the spaceways as the power-cosmic imbued Silver Surfer!
After an accident in a nuclear physics experiment, Dr Jon Osterman finds himself reborn with the ability to control matter at a molecular level, fighting supercrime as the all-powerful hero, Dr Manhattan!
THE BATTLE:
The Surfer's search for a planet that can sustain the great Galactus' hunger leads him to a familiar planet; a city which has streets caked in dried blood; grime and dirt on every passing corner; a world harbouring on nuclear holocaust: Earth! Deciding that this planet's beings are about to destroy themselves anyway, Surfer fires a beacon into space, signalling to his master that his search for a new food source is over!
From halfway across the world at the peak of Mt Kilimanjaro where Dr Manhattan is meditating, he feels the strange sensation of a power unfamiliar to him. Dr Manhattan opens his eyes in time to see the light beacon careening through the sky. Within an instant, Dr Manhattan traces the beacon to the origin and teleports himself to New York City. The Silver Surfer hovers above the Empire State Building when all of a sudden, he feels the atoms in the air shifting behind him and where there once was nothing, now stands a peculiar blue man.
The surfer instantly recognises a kindred soul: someone who cannot relate to the world he lives in; someone who's great power supercedes the other inhabitants on the planet; someone who's as nude as he is. "My name is Norrin Radd and I sense in you great pain," Surfer says as he opens up his palm and stretches it towards Dr Manhattan.
"Leave," Dr Manhattan growls and with an outstretched arm, he snaps his finger, trying to force the Silver Surfer to dematerialise before him. "Eh?" Dr Manhattan gasps as nothing happens. "The power I feel in you...I can't atomise you?" The Surfer is puzzled, not certain of the strange tingling sensation he feels against his skin. "You are too powerful to be on this planet. Begone." Dr Manhattan growls again as he shoots hot lava into the Surfer's chest, knocking him off his board.
As the Surfer freefalls, he shakes his head sadly. "Surely I have misjudged this one. But if it's a fight he wants, then let the power cosmic surging through me be the end of his pitiful existence! To me, my board!" the Surfer muses as his surfboard shifts in midair, flies back and catches the Surfer on his feet.
The Surfer unleashes a salvo of cosmic blasts towards Dr Manhattan, all of which are dissipated in mid-flight with a simple wave of Dr Manhattan's hand. "Truly you are powerful. Surely we can try to attain some peaceful negotiation?" the Surfer says. Dr Manhattan's reply is to harden his fist into diamond and punch the Surfer in the face.
Dazed, the Surfer feels a trickle of wetness flow down his lips. He wipes his face with the back of his forearm, only to realise the Dr Manhattan has done what a billion other sentient beings across the universe has failed to do: make the Surfer bleed! Enraged, the Surfer starts zipping across the sky, unleashing bolt after bolt of cosmic energy towards Dr Manhattan. None of them reach its target.
Dr Manhattan waves his arm and all of a sudden, the Surfer gets caught in a prison of adamantium shaped as a ball! Dr Manhattan constricts the ball of adamantium as the Surfer lets out an anguished scream. The ball gets tinier and tinier...and then it self implodes with a blaze of cosmic energy lighting up the sky! "You were a strange one invading this cesspool of a world...but this is MY world and invaders will not be tolerated," Dr Manhattan says coldly. Suddenly, a roar of thunder erupts in the sky and Dr Manhattan's persona is buffetted by waves of cosmic force so powerful that it brings him to his knees.
"Where is my herald?" a booming voice erupts from the sky above. "I no longer sense his presence."
"INVADERS. WILL. NOT. BE. TOLERATED." Dr Manhattan deadpans as he unleashes the fury of his powers in a futile attempt to get rid of the world devourer. Hours later, the planet is left a lifeless empty shell as Galactus leaves in search of his next meal. "I really should have made that blue creature my new herald, but he was such an annoying insect...and he made for a nice appetiser."
Winner: Dr Manhattan. That is, before he chose to attack Galactus.
Agree? Disagree? Tell us your thoughts!
Tale of the Tape
Home:
Silver Surfer - space, originally Zenn-La
Dr Manhattan - New York City
Nature:
Silver Surfer - compassionate, loves all living things
Dr Manhattan - aloof, thinks he's above all living things
Complexion:
Silver Surfer - chrome silver, shiny, smooth and cold to the touch
Dr Manhattan - sky blue, blends in when standing in front of a blue screen
Most often mistaken for:
Silver Surfer - T-1000 from Terminator 2
Dr Manhattan - a balder, nuder version of Blue Devil
Most distasteful feature:
Silver Surfer - the surfboard. What is this, the 90s?
Dr Manhattan - walking around nude 80 per cent of the time
THE PLAYERS:
In order to save his home planet from the planet-eater Galactus, Norrin Radd pledges to serve as Galactus' herald, surfing the spaceways as the power-cosmic imbued Silver Surfer!
After an accident in a nuclear physics experiment, Dr Jon Osterman finds himself reborn with the ability to control matter at a molecular level, fighting supercrime as the all-powerful hero, Dr Manhattan!
THE BATTLE:
The Surfer's search for a planet that can sustain the great Galactus' hunger leads him to a familiar planet; a city which has streets caked in dried blood; grime and dirt on every passing corner; a world harbouring on nuclear holocaust: Earth! Deciding that this planet's beings are about to destroy themselves anyway, Surfer fires a beacon into space, signalling to his master that his search for a new food source is over!
From halfway across the world at the peak of Mt Kilimanjaro where Dr Manhattan is meditating, he feels the strange sensation of a power unfamiliar to him. Dr Manhattan opens his eyes in time to see the light beacon careening through the sky. Within an instant, Dr Manhattan traces the beacon to the origin and teleports himself to New York City. The Silver Surfer hovers above the Empire State Building when all of a sudden, he feels the atoms in the air shifting behind him and where there once was nothing, now stands a peculiar blue man.
The surfer instantly recognises a kindred soul: someone who cannot relate to the world he lives in; someone who's great power supercedes the other inhabitants on the planet; someone who's as nude as he is. "My name is Norrin Radd and I sense in you great pain," Surfer says as he opens up his palm and stretches it towards Dr Manhattan.
"Leave," Dr Manhattan growls and with an outstretched arm, he snaps his finger, trying to force the Silver Surfer to dematerialise before him. "Eh?" Dr Manhattan gasps as nothing happens. "The power I feel in you...I can't atomise you?" The Surfer is puzzled, not certain of the strange tingling sensation he feels against his skin. "You are too powerful to be on this planet. Begone." Dr Manhattan growls again as he shoots hot lava into the Surfer's chest, knocking him off his board.
As the Surfer freefalls, he shakes his head sadly. "Surely I have misjudged this one. But if it's a fight he wants, then let the power cosmic surging through me be the end of his pitiful existence! To me, my board!" the Surfer muses as his surfboard shifts in midair, flies back and catches the Surfer on his feet.
The Surfer unleashes a salvo of cosmic blasts towards Dr Manhattan, all of which are dissipated in mid-flight with a simple wave of Dr Manhattan's hand. "Truly you are powerful. Surely we can try to attain some peaceful negotiation?" the Surfer says. Dr Manhattan's reply is to harden his fist into diamond and punch the Surfer in the face.
Dazed, the Surfer feels a trickle of wetness flow down his lips. He wipes his face with the back of his forearm, only to realise the Dr Manhattan has done what a billion other sentient beings across the universe has failed to do: make the Surfer bleed! Enraged, the Surfer starts zipping across the sky, unleashing bolt after bolt of cosmic energy towards Dr Manhattan. None of them reach its target.
Dr Manhattan waves his arm and all of a sudden, the Surfer gets caught in a prison of adamantium shaped as a ball! Dr Manhattan constricts the ball of adamantium as the Surfer lets out an anguished scream. The ball gets tinier and tinier...and then it self implodes with a blaze of cosmic energy lighting up the sky! "You were a strange one invading this cesspool of a world...but this is MY world and invaders will not be tolerated," Dr Manhattan says coldly. Suddenly, a roar of thunder erupts in the sky and Dr Manhattan's persona is buffetted by waves of cosmic force so powerful that it brings him to his knees.
"Where is my herald?" a booming voice erupts from the sky above. "I no longer sense his presence."
"INVADERS. WILL. NOT. BE. TOLERATED." Dr Manhattan deadpans as he unleashes the fury of his powers in a futile attempt to get rid of the world devourer. Hours later, the planet is left a lifeless empty shell as Galactus leaves in search of his next meal. "I really should have made that blue creature my new herald, but he was such an annoying insect...and he made for a nice appetiser."
Winner: Dr Manhattan. That is, before he chose to attack Galactus.
Agree? Disagree? Tell us your thoughts!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
LMS: The Ultimates Vs The Avengers
The Marvel Universe's premier two superteams battle it out! The biggest guns of the Ultimate universe take on their contemporary counterparts from the regular Marvel universe.
But which Avengers roster should be represented? I guess since the two teams are duking it out, it'd be fair to have each team be represented by their alternative world counterparts, yeah? So we can tell which Hawkeye is better, which Black Widow is deadlier, etc etc.
Tale of the Tape
Home:
The Ultimates - The Triskelion: military base with the highest tech equipment available, sponsored by military intelligence of S.H.I.E.L.D.
The Avengers - The Avengers Mansion: posh, swanky, comes with own personal butler
Most powerful member:
The Ultimates - Thor: new-age freak of nature
The Avengers - The Mighty Thor: The Odinson, God of Thunder
Liable to destroy the team at any given moment:
The Ultimates - Hulk: horny and has a mad-on for using people's heads as toilets
The Avengers - Scarlet Witch: insane in the membrane with reality altering powers
Most hated scripter of their adventures:
The Ultimates - Mark Millar: He let the Wasp singlehandedly take down Hulk! The wuss!
The Avengers - Brian Michael Bendis: He killed some Avengers and disbanded the team! The swine!
Useless sidekick:
The Ultimates - Jarvis the butler
The Avengers - D-Man, smells like crap
THE PLAYERS:
When America needs to develop its own government-sponsored superhero strike force, S.H.I.E.L.D. general Nick Fury is entrusted in recruiting America's most powerful heroes to serve as members of the superpowered initiative known as The Ultimates!
Earth's mightiest heroes banded together to fight against the forces no single hero could stand up to. Whenever the world is in danger, the human race can take solace in knowing that in their darkest hour, they can heed the rally cry of "Avengers Assemble!"
THE BATTLE:
Tired of constantly being The Avengers' whipping boy, a mischievious Loki amuses himself watching an alternate world version of The Avengers easily defeating the alien Chitauri race...and then turning on each other with maximum catastrophic results! Noting this unfamiliar team's penchant for brutality, Loki casts a spell that teleports his sworn enemies, The Avengers, into the heart of the Triskelion, causing a few thousand S.H.I.E.L.D soldiers to simultaneously implode from the vacuum created by the wormhole portal!
Startled at the invaders, the remaining S.H.I.E.L.D forces all start pointing their hi-tech rifles at the Avengers, who are still seated at their polished pine table, trying to finish their afternoon tea!
"What treachery be this?" yells an enraged Thor as he warily eyes several S.H.I.E.L.D agents starting to assemble some sort of projectile launcher. "Attac....!" a S.H.I.E.L.D commander starts to yell out, but before he can finish his sentence, the entire battalion is down on the ground unconscious with their weapons disassembled, courtesy of the fleetfooted Quicksilver! "A piece of cake..." the arrogant Pietro starts to remark, when he gets floored by a repulsor blast from the sky.
"Take them down hard and fast!" growls Ultimate Captain America, as he releases himself from Giant Man's grip and executes a perfect rolling somersault, landing face-to-face with his Marvel universe counterpart. Both combatants eye each other warily as they start testing each other...a strike, a parry, a thrust, a dodge. The rest of the teams start pairing up against each other. Ultimate Quicksilver easily dispatches his counterpart who's still dazed from Ultimate Iron Man's repulsor blast. Natasha Romanoff easily dodges the bullets from her Ultimate counterpart's assault rifle and knocks her out cold with a couple of well placed widow's bite blasts. Clint Barton takes out Ultimate Hawkeye with a strategically well-placed boxing glove.
Ultimate Iron Man realises first hand how inadequate his armour is when compared to Tony Stark's, when Stark's own armour easily out maneuovres it in mid-air...Ultimate Iron Man's armour moves like a rock in the sky and Tony easily accounts for his counterpart. The Odinson gets his ass handed to him by Ultimate Thor, who's willing to cut loose with everything he has. Janet Pym has too much fighting prowess for Ultimate Wasp and Ultimate Giant Man is much too big and strong for Hank Pym.
Meanwhile, Steve Rogers and Ultimate Cap have reached a stalemate, neither one giving an inch or backing down to the other. Suddenly Rogers tucks his shield to his side and stretches out an open right palm towards Ultimate Cap. "This is pointless. I don't know why we're being attacked for no reason. We're too evenly matched. Both of us are soldiers, you and I. Call off your troops and I'll call off mine...surely the two of us can reach a diplomatic solution?" says Rogers with a smile on his face.
Ultimate Cap looks at Rogers' outstretched hand, grins, then reaches out and shakes it...and without warning, he kicks Rogers' hard in the gonads! Rogers drops to his knees, using his free left hand to grab his crotch in pain. Without letting go of Rogers' right hand, Ultimate Cap uses his shield and smashes Rogers in the face, knocking him out cold.
"Diplomatic solution? In my language, that means surrender," smirks Ultimate Cap. Ultimate Cap then points to the "A" on his head and yells: "And surrender? SURRENDER?! YOU THINK THIS LETTER ON MY HEAD STANDS FOR FRANCE??!!" Ultimate Cap starts to walk away, then turns back and says to a prone Rogers: "The letter on this head stands for 'Asshole'. As in, I'm willing to fight dirty to get the win, scumbag."
Suddenly, Wanda Maximoff starts to lose a grip on reality after being subject to one of Ultimate Scarlet Witch's hex spells. "ARRRRGHH!!!" Wanda yells, as reality starts to fracture around her. Ultimate Scarlet Witch gets caught up in the vortex and is blinked out of existence in less than a nanosecond! More and more heroes start getting hurled into the vortex...and into oblivion. Tony Stark, Ultimate Giant Man, Quicksilver... "Pietro!" Wanda screams, but it is too late to save her brother. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a lumbering beast drops out of the sky and lands next to Wanda, obliterating the ground beneath him. The beast aims a backhand at Wanda's head, knocking it clean off and dispersing the reality-ending vortex.
"Mission accomplished, Banner," a loudspeaker cries out from the helicopter above, with Nick Fury signalling for Hulk to finish off the other Marvel Universe opponents. Hulk does exactly that, easily accounting for and dispatching the rest of The Avengers with brutal efficiency. But after the last Avenger has fallen, Hulk, in a mindless bloodrage, turns on his Ultimate teammates! "HULK SMASH!" yells the behemoth, as Ultimate Cap and Thor throw themselves headfirst into battle with one of their own.
Winners: The Ultimates...that is, if they don't kill themselves after beating The Avengers!
That took me a while to write! Phew! Maybe I should do away with team battles...it's much easier just going with single characters!
I was originally going for an angle where Scarlet Witch notices Ultimate Quicksilver and drops the devillish remark of: "He may look just like my brother, but what a hunk!" then decides that it's not incest if you're...erm...committing adultery with your alternate world brother, and the two of them walk off hand in hand...or speed off to some seedy motel somewhere. :p
But which Avengers roster should be represented? I guess since the two teams are duking it out, it'd be fair to have each team be represented by their alternative world counterparts, yeah? So we can tell which Hawkeye is better, which Black Widow is deadlier, etc etc.
Tale of the Tape
Home:
The Ultimates - The Triskelion: military base with the highest tech equipment available, sponsored by military intelligence of S.H.I.E.L.D.
The Avengers - The Avengers Mansion: posh, swanky, comes with own personal butler
Most powerful member:
The Ultimates - Thor: new-age freak of nature
The Avengers - The Mighty Thor: The Odinson, God of Thunder
Liable to destroy the team at any given moment:
The Ultimates - Hulk: horny and has a mad-on for using people's heads as toilets
The Avengers - Scarlet Witch: insane in the membrane with reality altering powers
Most hated scripter of their adventures:
The Ultimates - Mark Millar: He let the Wasp singlehandedly take down Hulk! The wuss!
The Avengers - Brian Michael Bendis: He killed some Avengers and disbanded the team! The swine!
Useless sidekick:
The Ultimates - Jarvis the butler
The Avengers - D-Man, smells like crap
THE PLAYERS:
When America needs to develop its own government-sponsored superhero strike force, S.H.I.E.L.D. general Nick Fury is entrusted in recruiting America's most powerful heroes to serve as members of the superpowered initiative known as The Ultimates!
Earth's mightiest heroes banded together to fight against the forces no single hero could stand up to. Whenever the world is in danger, the human race can take solace in knowing that in their darkest hour, they can heed the rally cry of "Avengers Assemble!"
THE BATTLE:
Tired of constantly being The Avengers' whipping boy, a mischievious Loki amuses himself watching an alternate world version of The Avengers easily defeating the alien Chitauri race...and then turning on each other with maximum catastrophic results! Noting this unfamiliar team's penchant for brutality, Loki casts a spell that teleports his sworn enemies, The Avengers, into the heart of the Triskelion, causing a few thousand S.H.I.E.L.D soldiers to simultaneously implode from the vacuum created by the wormhole portal!
Startled at the invaders, the remaining S.H.I.E.L.D forces all start pointing their hi-tech rifles at the Avengers, who are still seated at their polished pine table, trying to finish their afternoon tea!
"What treachery be this?" yells an enraged Thor as he warily eyes several S.H.I.E.L.D agents starting to assemble some sort of projectile launcher. "Attac....!" a S.H.I.E.L.D commander starts to yell out, but before he can finish his sentence, the entire battalion is down on the ground unconscious with their weapons disassembled, courtesy of the fleetfooted Quicksilver! "A piece of cake..." the arrogant Pietro starts to remark, when he gets floored by a repulsor blast from the sky.
"Take them down hard and fast!" growls Ultimate Captain America, as he releases himself from Giant Man's grip and executes a perfect rolling somersault, landing face-to-face with his Marvel universe counterpart. Both combatants eye each other warily as they start testing each other...a strike, a parry, a thrust, a dodge. The rest of the teams start pairing up against each other. Ultimate Quicksilver easily dispatches his counterpart who's still dazed from Ultimate Iron Man's repulsor blast. Natasha Romanoff easily dodges the bullets from her Ultimate counterpart's assault rifle and knocks her out cold with a couple of well placed widow's bite blasts. Clint Barton takes out Ultimate Hawkeye with a strategically well-placed boxing glove.
Ultimate Iron Man realises first hand how inadequate his armour is when compared to Tony Stark's, when Stark's own armour easily out maneuovres it in mid-air...Ultimate Iron Man's armour moves like a rock in the sky and Tony easily accounts for his counterpart. The Odinson gets his ass handed to him by Ultimate Thor, who's willing to cut loose with everything he has. Janet Pym has too much fighting prowess for Ultimate Wasp and Ultimate Giant Man is much too big and strong for Hank Pym.
Meanwhile, Steve Rogers and Ultimate Cap have reached a stalemate, neither one giving an inch or backing down to the other. Suddenly Rogers tucks his shield to his side and stretches out an open right palm towards Ultimate Cap. "This is pointless. I don't know why we're being attacked for no reason. We're too evenly matched. Both of us are soldiers, you and I. Call off your troops and I'll call off mine...surely the two of us can reach a diplomatic solution?" says Rogers with a smile on his face.
Ultimate Cap looks at Rogers' outstretched hand, grins, then reaches out and shakes it...and without warning, he kicks Rogers' hard in the gonads! Rogers drops to his knees, using his free left hand to grab his crotch in pain. Without letting go of Rogers' right hand, Ultimate Cap uses his shield and smashes Rogers in the face, knocking him out cold.
"Diplomatic solution? In my language, that means surrender," smirks Ultimate Cap. Ultimate Cap then points to the "A" on his head and yells: "And surrender? SURRENDER?! YOU THINK THIS LETTER ON MY HEAD STANDS FOR FRANCE??!!" Ultimate Cap starts to walk away, then turns back and says to a prone Rogers: "The letter on this head stands for 'Asshole'. As in, I'm willing to fight dirty to get the win, scumbag."
Suddenly, Wanda Maximoff starts to lose a grip on reality after being subject to one of Ultimate Scarlet Witch's hex spells. "ARRRRGHH!!!" Wanda yells, as reality starts to fracture around her. Ultimate Scarlet Witch gets caught up in the vortex and is blinked out of existence in less than a nanosecond! More and more heroes start getting hurled into the vortex...and into oblivion. Tony Stark, Ultimate Giant Man, Quicksilver... "Pietro!" Wanda screams, but it is too late to save her brother. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a lumbering beast drops out of the sky and lands next to Wanda, obliterating the ground beneath him. The beast aims a backhand at Wanda's head, knocking it clean off and dispersing the reality-ending vortex.
"Mission accomplished, Banner," a loudspeaker cries out from the helicopter above, with Nick Fury signalling for Hulk to finish off the other Marvel Universe opponents. Hulk does exactly that, easily accounting for and dispatching the rest of The Avengers with brutal efficiency. But after the last Avenger has fallen, Hulk, in a mindless bloodrage, turns on his Ultimate teammates! "HULK SMASH!" yells the behemoth, as Ultimate Cap and Thor throw themselves headfirst into battle with one of their own.
Winners: The Ultimates...that is, if they don't kill themselves after beating The Avengers!
That took me a while to write! Phew! Maybe I should do away with team battles...it's much easier just going with single characters!
I was originally going for an angle where Scarlet Witch notices Ultimate Quicksilver and drops the devillish remark of: "He may look just like my brother, but what a hunk!" then decides that it's not incest if you're...erm...committing adultery with your alternate world brother, and the two of them walk off hand in hand...or speed off to some seedy motel somewhere. :p
Friday, September 14, 2007
LMS: Marvel Zombies Vs Dawn of the Dead Zombies Vs 28 Weeks Later Zombies
You know this would happen sooner or later, consider how aptly our blog is titled: A trifecta battle of zombies!
Cue klaxon blaring and a monster truck announcer yelling out:
ZOMBIES ZOMBIES ZOMBIES on SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!
Tale of the Tape
From:
Marvel Zombies - An alternate Marvel universe
Dawn of the Dead Zombies - Milwaukee, Wisconsin aka Cheese Country
28 Weeks Later Zombies - Dreary olde England
Powers:
Marvel Zombies - the adamantium claws and healing factor of Wolverine, the repulsor rays and many other weapons of Iron Man, the strength of the Hulk...basically all the powers of the heroes (and villains) of the Marvel Universe
Dawn of the Dead Zombies - able to run really fast
28 Weeks Later Zombies - able to grunt loudly, make really terrifying noises and explode messily
Disposition:
Marvel Zombies - often cheery, but occasionally pissed off
Dawn of the Dead Zombies - aggressive, violent and think the whole world owes them a feeding
28 Weeks Later Zombies - stoned, like permanently on weed and other drugs
Favourite body part to eat:
Marvel Zombies - spleen
Dawn of the Dead Zombies - liver
28 Weeks Later Zombies - brain
Human protagonist(s) that killed most of their numbers:
Marvel Zombies - Ashley J. Williams
Dawn of the Dead Zombies - Ving Rhames and Sarah Polley
28 Weeks Later Zombies - Cillian Murphy
THE PLAYERS:
Led by Colonel America, the Avengers sought to stop the invasion of their planet by an infected Sentry. But all it took was one bite, then another, and another, and soon the Marvel Universe ceased to exist, and born was a world...of Marvel Zombies!
No one knows what started the outbreak of infections that led to the rise of Zombies in Wisconsin. The zombie infection plague spread wide and fast across the state and soon the rest of America was infected in less than 36 hours. As the food supply drastically decreases, all the Dawn of the Dead Zombies can do...is feel even hungrier.
In England, chimpanzees that were dosed with the deadly "Rage virus" were freed by witless animal rights activists...who were the first to be attacked and bitten by the chimps, turning them into mindless zombies, seeking only to infect the rest of the United Kingdom!
THE BATTLE:
As Ashley J. Williams jumps through the wormhole created by the Necronomicon, he turns back and gives the Marvel Zombies (MZs) the finger. Enraged, Sorcerer Supreme Dr Strange casts a magical spell that keeps the wormhole open...and soon the MZs are jumping through the wormhole to catch the boomstick-wielding sonovagun! A hungry Hulk smashes his way to the front of the pack, only to accidentally crush Dr Strange's head, breaking his concentration and sending the MZs spinning wildly out of control in the wormhole and crash landing in the old remains of Big Ben in London.
"Wrrr?" one of the 28 Weeks Later Zombies (28WLZs) grunts, as it looks up just in time to catch a kick in the face from your friendly and rotting neighbourhood Spider-man. "Ewww...gross! I've heard of getting ahead, but this is ridiculous!" Spidey exclaims as the zombie's head explodes at the slightest of touches. The 28WLZs stop chasing a hapless Cillian Murphy and turn to face their new enemies. What they lack in firepower, they more than make up for in numbers, and the 28WLZs charge in blindly, hoping to swarm the MZs en masse.
Without warning, large ocean liner smashes into one of the jetties across the River Thames and the battle is soon joined by the Dawn of the Dead Zombies (DDZs), fresh from eviscerating Ving Rhames and Sarah Polley and making the transatlantic trip all the way from the US! The battle is joined as all the zombies start tearing into each other in an attempt to put their breed at the top of the food chain. Sinews tear, legs break, brains explode as the sound of gnashing and gnawing escalate to a feverish pitch.
An enraged Hulk goes ballistic and yells out: "RRRAAGH! Hulk mad! And the madder Hulk gets, the hungrier Hulk gets! Hulk hungriest one there is!" And with that, Hulk bites down on the head of a DDZ and an arm of a 28WLZ. "You no taste very good. Hulk feel sick," exclaims Hulk as he regurgitates the nasty rotting flesh from his mouth.
"Citizens, stop! Can't you see this fighting is pointless?" yells Colonel America, as he kicks a DDZ in the groin. "Why all this pointless fighting? We should be working together to look for fresh meat to feast on!" All the zombies give pause momentarily. Wolverine sniffs the air and locates Cillian Murphy, who's trying to hide unsuccessfully in the clock face of Big Ben. "GET HIM!" yells Luke Cage, as a mass of zombies all surge towards the hapless Murphy. "No no, get AWAY! Leave me alone! I was the Scarecrow in Batman Begins! I was the terrifying villain in Red Eye! I was..." But his words get cut short as Iron Man, able to move faster than all the other zombies, thanks to his armour, takes a big chomp out of Murphy's oesophagus.
"Come on guys! There's plenty of him for just us Avengers," Iron Man says, as he flies off with Murphy's body, motioning for the rest of the MZs to follow him. The DDZs and 28WLZs try to follow in vain as they realise their greatest failing: none of them can fly! The MZs all work together and fly, leap or swing their way away from the carnage, while the DDZs and 28WLZs are left stranded to wander around fruitlessly, wondering where their next meal will be coming from.
Winners: The Marvel Zombies
Hope that one went well. What do you think, Theo? There really shouldn't be any question about the Marvel Zombies winning this one...it's like Brazil taking on Singapore in football.
Cue klaxon blaring and a monster truck announcer yelling out:
ZOMBIES ZOMBIES ZOMBIES on SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!
Tale of the Tape
From:
Marvel Zombies - An alternate Marvel universe
Dawn of the Dead Zombies - Milwaukee, Wisconsin aka Cheese Country
28 Weeks Later Zombies - Dreary olde England
Powers:
Marvel Zombies - the adamantium claws and healing factor of Wolverine, the repulsor rays and many other weapons of Iron Man, the strength of the Hulk...basically all the powers of the heroes (and villains) of the Marvel Universe
Dawn of the Dead Zombies - able to run really fast
28 Weeks Later Zombies - able to grunt loudly, make really terrifying noises and explode messily
Disposition:
Marvel Zombies - often cheery, but occasionally pissed off
Dawn of the Dead Zombies - aggressive, violent and think the whole world owes them a feeding
28 Weeks Later Zombies - stoned, like permanently on weed and other drugs
Favourite body part to eat:
Marvel Zombies - spleen
Dawn of the Dead Zombies - liver
28 Weeks Later Zombies - brain
Human protagonist(s) that killed most of their numbers:
Marvel Zombies - Ashley J. Williams
Dawn of the Dead Zombies - Ving Rhames and Sarah Polley
28 Weeks Later Zombies - Cillian Murphy
THE PLAYERS:
Led by Colonel America, the Avengers sought to stop the invasion of their planet by an infected Sentry. But all it took was one bite, then another, and another, and soon the Marvel Universe ceased to exist, and born was a world...of Marvel Zombies!
No one knows what started the outbreak of infections that led to the rise of Zombies in Wisconsin. The zombie infection plague spread wide and fast across the state and soon the rest of America was infected in less than 36 hours. As the food supply drastically decreases, all the Dawn of the Dead Zombies can do...is feel even hungrier.
In England, chimpanzees that were dosed with the deadly "Rage virus" were freed by witless animal rights activists...who were the first to be attacked and bitten by the chimps, turning them into mindless zombies, seeking only to infect the rest of the United Kingdom!
THE BATTLE:
As Ashley J. Williams jumps through the wormhole created by the Necronomicon, he turns back and gives the Marvel Zombies (MZs) the finger. Enraged, Sorcerer Supreme Dr Strange casts a magical spell that keeps the wormhole open...and soon the MZs are jumping through the wormhole to catch the boomstick-wielding sonovagun! A hungry Hulk smashes his way to the front of the pack, only to accidentally crush Dr Strange's head, breaking his concentration and sending the MZs spinning wildly out of control in the wormhole and crash landing in the old remains of Big Ben in London.
"Wrrr?" one of the 28 Weeks Later Zombies (28WLZs) grunts, as it looks up just in time to catch a kick in the face from your friendly and rotting neighbourhood Spider-man. "Ewww...gross! I've heard of getting ahead, but this is ridiculous!" Spidey exclaims as the zombie's head explodes at the slightest of touches. The 28WLZs stop chasing a hapless Cillian Murphy and turn to face their new enemies. What they lack in firepower, they more than make up for in numbers, and the 28WLZs charge in blindly, hoping to swarm the MZs en masse.
Without warning, large ocean liner smashes into one of the jetties across the River Thames and the battle is soon joined by the Dawn of the Dead Zombies (DDZs), fresh from eviscerating Ving Rhames and Sarah Polley and making the transatlantic trip all the way from the US! The battle is joined as all the zombies start tearing into each other in an attempt to put their breed at the top of the food chain. Sinews tear, legs break, brains explode as the sound of gnashing and gnawing escalate to a feverish pitch.
An enraged Hulk goes ballistic and yells out: "RRRAAGH! Hulk mad! And the madder Hulk gets, the hungrier Hulk gets! Hulk hungriest one there is!" And with that, Hulk bites down on the head of a DDZ and an arm of a 28WLZ. "You no taste very good. Hulk feel sick," exclaims Hulk as he regurgitates the nasty rotting flesh from his mouth.
"Citizens, stop! Can't you see this fighting is pointless?" yells Colonel America, as he kicks a DDZ in the groin. "Why all this pointless fighting? We should be working together to look for fresh meat to feast on!" All the zombies give pause momentarily. Wolverine sniffs the air and locates Cillian Murphy, who's trying to hide unsuccessfully in the clock face of Big Ben. "GET HIM!" yells Luke Cage, as a mass of zombies all surge towards the hapless Murphy. "No no, get AWAY! Leave me alone! I was the Scarecrow in Batman Begins! I was the terrifying villain in Red Eye! I was..." But his words get cut short as Iron Man, able to move faster than all the other zombies, thanks to his armour, takes a big chomp out of Murphy's oesophagus.
"Come on guys! There's plenty of him for just us Avengers," Iron Man says, as he flies off with Murphy's body, motioning for the rest of the MZs to follow him. The DDZs and 28WLZs try to follow in vain as they realise their greatest failing: none of them can fly! The MZs all work together and fly, leap or swing their way away from the carnage, while the DDZs and 28WLZs are left stranded to wander around fruitlessly, wondering where their next meal will be coming from.
Winners: The Marvel Zombies
Hope that one went well. What do you think, Theo? There really shouldn't be any question about the Marvel Zombies winning this one...it's like Brazil taking on Singapore in football.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
LMS: White Martian Vs Super Skrull
Ian says: You have been edited!
Tale of the Tape
Tale of the Tape
Height:
White Martian - variable (6'4 usually)
Super Skrull - variable (6'2 usually)
Weight:
White Martian - variable (250 lbs usually)
Super Skrull - variable (220 lbs usually)
Complexion:
White Martian - Granite smooth and pasty-white
Super Skrull - like the surface of the moon...in green
Hates:
White Martian - other Martians that aren't white (wot a racist!)
Super Skrull - Earthlings
Classic embarassing moment:
White Martian - Being mistaken for the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man
Super Skrull - Losing a fight to Dazzler
THE PLAYERS:
Powerful adversaries to the Justice League of America (JLA), the White Martians' schemes of world domination were thwarted by the JLA and subsequently brainwashed by Green Martian J'onn J'onzz and Aquaman to live as humans among humans.
Forced by Kree aggression, the Skrulls became a militaristic civilisation and currently use their advanced technologies and shape-shifting powers in their attempts to conquer the Universe.
THE BATTLE:
Freed from the mental confines of believing that he is only human, the white Martian, Fluxus, screams in anger for the blood of J'onn J'onzz. He catches a glimpse of green flying in the far horizon and flies at it, believing his target to be the J'onn, hitting a surprised Skrull, Kl'rt, squarely in the chest. Kl'rt very quickly recovers, changes his arm to be like The Thing's, and pummels Fluxus, while wrapping around him tightly a la Reed Richards. Fluxus, still fresh from his confusion, screams, "Is that the best you can do, J'onn?!" He shapeshifts into Superman and slugs Kl'rt with a powerful right hook. Stunned, Kl'rt quickly turns invisible to observe his opponent, but Fluxus quickly locates him telepathically and attacks him with psi-spikes to the head. Kl'rt shrieks in pain and in a panicked attempt, uses the powers of Johnny Storm. The last thing Fluxus remembers is his own howl of pain as he catches fire and falls to the sea...
---
Woot, gonna need your help again with editing this one, Ian! :oP Can't think of anything for Tale of The Tape yet. :oP
LMS: Batman Vs Iron Man
Tale of the Tape
Height:
Batman - 6'1
Iron Man - 6'8 (in armour, 6'1 as Tony Stark)
Weight:
Batman - 190 lbs
Iron Man - 1 ton (in armour, 170 lbs as Tony Stark)
Movie Girlfriend of choice:
Batman - Katie Holmes
Iron Man - Gwyneth Paltrow
Richer than:
Batman - Montgomery Burns
Iron Man - Richard Branson
Likes to spend money on:
Batman - Those wonderful toys
Iron Man - Alcohol
THE PLAYERS: After watching a mugger murder his parents, young Bruce Wayne embarked on a one-man war on crime, prowling the night as the brooding vigilante Batman!
After being injured near fatally by a exploded bomb's fragment inching its way towards his heart and held captive by terrorists, Tony Stark built himself a suit to keep his heart pumping and introduce himself to the world as the Armoured Avenger, Iron Man!
THE BATTLE:
Fresh from his knock-down no-holds-barred battle against Bane, Batman staggers away from the dank sewers, thankful that his spine is left intact from his latest skirmish with the drugged-up powerhouse. As Batman climbs out of the sewers, he hears an almost inaudible whine of hi-tech twin jet engines. Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! "Must be one of Toyman's gadgets," thinks Batman, observing a shiny red and gold glint careening across the sky. "This ends tonight!" Batman vows and pursues his target. Meanwhile, Iron Man's proximity alert informs him of a volley of fast approaching projectiles. He swings around but cannot avoid the exploding Batarangs, which temporarily blind and ground him. Batman seizes the opportunity to land a roundhouse kick into Iron Man's headpiece, with no discernable effect other than giving Bats a sore foot. Batman knows he has to end this battle fast, and unleashes a volley of batarangs at Iron Man's head.
Determined to get the unknown pointy eared assailant away from him, Iron Man fires up his chest-mounted unibeam and Batman unceremoniously crashes onto Wayne Tower's roof below. Batman quickly realises that he can't match his opponent's powered suit and decides to get crafty. He throws a smoke bomb to cover his tracks and flings more batarangs at Iron Man, striking his head, arms and chest. "Were those meant to stop me?" the unethereal voice intones from the suit. "No," Batman growls, "They were." and presses a trigger on his belt. A strong short range electromagnetic pulse fires up from the Batarangs' deposits and courses through Iron Man, sending him plummeting to the hard ground below and leaving him unconscious from the crash.
Somewhere in Wayne Tower, an oblivious cleaner turns up the volume to his favourite song and hums "Another one bites the dust..."
LOL, well.. feel free to edit this Ian. I'm not sure if I can do enough justice to both characters in this. :oP Oh, will need your help to add their stats etc, like the LMS ones in your blog. Heh heh!
Ian, in mechanical robotic voice: Edit complete!
Last Man Standing
Alrighty! Seems like the LMS feature is down to the last few based on Ian's blog, so we thought, why not come up with a few LMS situations ourselves?
It would also mean less drawing work for me (I'm a poor overloaded engrg student *sob* ) since I could just draw a picture/panel and have the words work out the rest.
Anyway, I was thinking that I'd sure as heck LOVE to see a Batman vs Iron Man LMS feature. I mean, both of them are rich and both of them love their gadgets!
So how about it, eh? :oD
It would also mean less drawing work for me (I'm a poor overloaded engrg student *sob* ) since I could just draw a picture/panel and have the words work out the rest.
Anyway, I was thinking that I'd sure as heck LOVE to see a Batman vs Iron Man LMS feature. I mean, both of them are rich and both of them love their gadgets!
So how about it, eh? :oD
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Apologies for the lack of posting
Sorry I haven't posted in yonks. Between being ousted from my casual job and needing to look for something new (and more permanent), I just haven't had the time or motivation to properly come up with new ideas...and more importantly, new scripts.
And I don't quite feel as inspired as before to churn out scripts anymore. I'm not sure whether it's because of my changing priorities in real life, especially with that whole job thing occupying the bulk of my thought-time, or something else entirely.
I must honestly say that a part of it would be attributed to not having actually seen too many drafts for the scripts that have been written so far. So far there's been the draft for the Devastator and Ladiesman217 scripts...and that's all. :(
I know it's my fault for churning out way too many scripts over a short period of time, and it coincides with Theo's re-exam, plus the other stuff he needs to do in real life. But at the moment, I don't think I'll contribute more scripts until I've at least given Theo a chance to catch up on some of the scripts that have been posted already. It'd only be unfair to him to churn out even MORE scripts and add more burden on him.
4 votes so far! So we've got at least four readers, albeit irregular readers? I wonder if people know they can actually vote for MORE than one favourite...
And I don't quite feel as inspired as before to churn out scripts anymore. I'm not sure whether it's because of my changing priorities in real life, especially with that whole job thing occupying the bulk of my thought-time, or something else entirely.
I must honestly say that a part of it would be attributed to not having actually seen too many drafts for the scripts that have been written so far. So far there's been the draft for the Devastator and Ladiesman217 scripts...and that's all. :(
I know it's my fault for churning out way too many scripts over a short period of time, and it coincides with Theo's re-exam, plus the other stuff he needs to do in real life. But at the moment, I don't think I'll contribute more scripts until I've at least given Theo a chance to catch up on some of the scripts that have been posted already. It'd only be unfair to him to churn out even MORE scripts and add more burden on him.
4 votes so far! So we've got at least four readers, albeit irregular readers? I wonder if people know they can actually vote for MORE than one favourite...
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
The world's greatest detective meets his match and more!
And no, I wasn't talking about Sherlock Holmes, but good ol' Bats. The idea struck me this morning when I was the in the perfect environment for my mind to be unleashed, namely, the bath.
Anyways, hopefully this might be a longer running thing than just a one page comic. I don't have to be a seer to foretell that LOTS of work will have to be done on the script. Am already bouncing quite a few ideas and scenarios in my mind. Unfortunately, the script will have to be kept under wraps for the time being, as I don't wanna spoil and surprises (hopefully good ones) for any reader out there.
For the heck of it, I might even get Bats to say the infamous "I'm the goddamn Batman!" line, eh?
Anyways, hopefully this might be a longer running thing than just a one page comic. I don't have to be a seer to foretell that LOTS of work will have to be done on the script. Am already bouncing quite a few ideas and scenarios in my mind. Unfortunately, the script will have to be kept under wraps for the time being, as I don't wanna spoil and surprises (hopefully good ones) for any reader out there.
For the heck of it, I might even get Bats to say the infamous "I'm the goddamn Batman!" line, eh?
Saturday, August 4, 2007
300 vs Transformers (II)
A bit of visualization in my fever addled mind...
Panel 1 - King Leonidas addressing his 300 Spartans, a la the famous scene from Braveheart.
Leonidas: "We have taken on ALL challengers and we have ruled the Box Office this year! We have shown that we're not just men, we're Spartans!"
Panel 2 - Leonidas continues. (maybe a shot of Peter Parker sitting on his bed sulking like in Spidey 3, and Capt Jack Sparrow making like a BBQ-ed bird, playing on the "Sparrow" name)
Leonidas: "Spider-man? Pfah, what an emo weakling! Shrek couldn't tame us! The pirates were a bunch of sissy men! WE RULE HOLLYWOOD THIS YEAR!
Panel 3 - And Tonight! We will dine in hell! FOR SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Panel 4 - A huge robotic foot comes out of nowhere and stomps Leonidas flat. A speech bubble comes out from above (off panel).
Optimus: "Autobots! Transform and roll out!"
Panel 5 - The 300 disperse with random lines being uttered by random Spartans.
Line 1: "Well, it was good while it lasted."
Line 2: "Men in costumes just can't beat robots."
Line 3: "I can't believe Bay just pwned Snyder."
A miniaturised Megatron, hiding among the Spartans, turns to a miniaturied Starscream and says: "You fail me yet again, Starscream."
Panel 1 - King Leonidas addressing his 300 Spartans, a la the famous scene from Braveheart.
Leonidas: "We have taken on ALL challengers and we have ruled the Box Office this year! We have shown that we're not just men, we're Spartans!"
Panel 2 - Leonidas continues. (maybe a shot of Peter Parker sitting on his bed sulking like in Spidey 3, and Capt Jack Sparrow making like a BBQ-ed bird, playing on the "Sparrow" name)
Leonidas: "Spider-man? Pfah, what an emo weakling! Shrek couldn't tame us! The pirates were a bunch of sissy men! WE RULE HOLLYWOOD THIS YEAR!
Panel 3 - And Tonight! We will dine in hell! FOR SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Panel 4 - A huge robotic foot comes out of nowhere and stomps Leonidas flat. A speech bubble comes out from above (off panel).
Optimus: "Autobots! Transform and roll out!"
Panel 5 - The 300 disperse with random lines being uttered by random Spartans.
Line 1: "Well, it was good while it lasted."
Line 2: "Men in costumes just can't beat robots."
Line 3: "I can't believe Bay just pwned Snyder."
A miniaturised Megatron, hiding among the Spartans, turns to a miniaturied Starscream and says: "You fail me yet again, Starscream."
Monday, July 23, 2007
How much is your blog worth?
OoOOooO...the previous post was the 50th one! Good old 50...strange subject matter for a "milestone" post though! No matter.
Anyway, I just chanced upon this little site which purported to tell us how much our blogs are worth:
What!? This blog is worth $2,822.70? I wonder how they calculate this or is it just some random number thrown in. I've tried it again and nope...it's still the same value. Hm! Ah well...making money off our blog...ka-chink!
Anyway, I just chanced upon this little site which purported to tell us how much our blogs are worth:
My blog is worth $2,822.70.
How much is your blog worth?
What!? This blog is worth $2,822.70? I wonder how they calculate this or is it just some random number thrown in. I've tried it again and nope...it's still the same value. Hm! Ah well...making money off our blog...ka-chink!
Attracted to Magneto!
More Ian McKellan mayhem!
Panel 1 - Dialogue box: "And even more outtakes from Sir Ian McKellan's vault!"
Panel 2 - Wolverine is stretched out in mid-air, courtesy of Magneto's powers. Magneto approaches Wolverine with an arm stretched out and a clenched fist. He's eyeing something in Wolverine's nether regions...wanna guess what?
Dialogue box: "X-Men!"
IM: "You must be Wolverine. That remarkable metal doesn't run through your entire body, does it?"
Wolverine: "What do you want with me?"
Panel 3 - Silence. Magneto, with his arm still stretched out, slowly opens up his fist. As he does so, a bulge in Wolverine's spandex suddenly grows bigger...or longer. It depends how you want to illustrate this panel and not make it look TOO graphic. ;) Wolverine's eyes go wide (0.0) as he comes to a realisation as to what Magneto really wants.
Panel 4 - Wolverine stares down at his package with his eyes still wide open. Magneto reaches out and...grabs/caresses/fondles Wolvie's bulge.
IM: "My dear boy, whoever said I wanted YOU? Don't you know what *I* really want?"
Panel 5 - All of a sudden, the Spice Girls burst into the scene in the background. Wolvie and Magneto turn to look at them in astonishment.
Baby and Sporty Spice: "So tell me what you want, what you really really want!"
Posh and Scary Spice: "I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna..."
Panel 6 - Silence. Magneto suddenly thrusts out his free arm towards the Spice Girls and they either all get blown violently off panel, or their heads explode with blood covering the panel, courtesy of Magneto pulling the iron from their bodies.
Panel 7 - Magneto, looking back at Wolverine. Wolverine has fainted. Magneto speaks with drool gushing out of the side of his lips.
IM: "I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha."
Panel 1 - Dialogue box: "And even more outtakes from Sir Ian McKellan's vault!"
Panel 2 - Wolverine is stretched out in mid-air, courtesy of Magneto's powers. Magneto approaches Wolverine with an arm stretched out and a clenched fist. He's eyeing something in Wolverine's nether regions...wanna guess what?
Dialogue box: "X-Men!"
IM: "You must be Wolverine. That remarkable metal doesn't run through your entire body, does it?"
Wolverine: "What do you want with me?"
Panel 3 - Silence. Magneto, with his arm still stretched out, slowly opens up his fist. As he does so, a bulge in Wolverine's spandex suddenly grows bigger...or longer. It depends how you want to illustrate this panel and not make it look TOO graphic. ;) Wolverine's eyes go wide (0.0) as he comes to a realisation as to what Magneto really wants.
Panel 4 - Wolverine stares down at his package with his eyes still wide open. Magneto reaches out and...grabs/caresses/fondles Wolvie's bulge.
IM: "My dear boy, whoever said I wanted YOU? Don't you know what *I* really want?"
Panel 5 - All of a sudden, the Spice Girls burst into the scene in the background. Wolvie and Magneto turn to look at them in astonishment.
Baby and Sporty Spice: "So tell me what you want, what you really really want!"
Posh and Scary Spice: "I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna..."
Panel 6 - Silence. Magneto suddenly thrusts out his free arm towards the Spice Girls and they either all get blown violently off panel, or their heads explode with blood covering the panel, courtesy of Magneto pulling the iron from their bodies.
Panel 7 - Magneto, looking back at Wolverine. Wolverine has fainted. Magneto speaks with drool gushing out of the side of his lips.
IM: "I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha."
Gandalf the Ghey!
And after that serious script, needs to come a less serious one:
Panel 1 - Just another dialogue box: "And now, by popular demand, outtakes from the movies of gay rights activist, Sir Ian McKellan!"
Panel 2 - That famous Balrog scene where IM slams his staff into the ground, blocking the Balrog from the rest of the party. The Balrog, for some reason, is wearing shorts and it's very noticeable that it has a big...uh...tool.
Dialogue box: "Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers!"
IM: "YOU !!! SHALL NOT !!! PASS !!!"
Panel 3 - IM looks down at the Balrog's package and his eyes go wide (0.0). Make his eyes pop out of his head, staring if you want to. Some drool trickles from IM's mouth.
Panel 4 - IM gives a knowing wink at the Balrog and makes a nasty suggestion. The Balrog has a o.O face and slowly backs away from IM.
IM: "Not at least until you make a PASS at me first, big boy. Roooowwwwwwr."
Panel 5 - IM and Elrond are chatting in a chamber. This scene immediately follows the one where Frodo is recovering after having been scratched by the Nazgul.
Dialogue box: "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring!"
Elrond: "The time of the Elves is over. My people are leaving these shores. Who will you look to when we've gone?"
IM: "It is in Men that we must place our hope."
Panel 6 - IM and Elrond still chatting.
Elrond: "Men? Men are weak. It is because of Men the Ring survives. No, you need someone with bigger and more powerful...tools."
Panel 7 - Silence. IM and Elrond look into each other's eyes, longingly.
Panel 8 - IM and Elrond in a full embrace and liplock. Their hands furtively caress each other's backs (and backsides).
IM: "Why did I think I could place my hope in men? I need the other white meat...only found in elves!"
Elrond: "Oh hold me and never let go, Mr Anderson!"
Panel 9 - IM and Elrond still "exploring" each other's bodies, but IM has a quizzical look on his face (o.O).
IM: "What was that?"
Elrond: "Shut up and kiss me, Magneto."
Panel 1 - Just another dialogue box: "And now, by popular demand, outtakes from the movies of gay rights activist, Sir Ian McKellan!"
Panel 2 - That famous Balrog scene where IM slams his staff into the ground, blocking the Balrog from the rest of the party. The Balrog, for some reason, is wearing shorts and it's very noticeable that it has a big...uh...tool.
Dialogue box: "Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers!"
IM: "YOU !!! SHALL NOT !!! PASS !!!"
Panel 3 - IM looks down at the Balrog's package and his eyes go wide (0.0). Make his eyes pop out of his head, staring if you want to. Some drool trickles from IM's mouth.
Panel 4 - IM gives a knowing wink at the Balrog and makes a nasty suggestion. The Balrog has a o.O face and slowly backs away from IM.
IM: "Not at least until you make a PASS at me first, big boy. Roooowwwwwwr."
Panel 5 - IM and Elrond are chatting in a chamber. This scene immediately follows the one where Frodo is recovering after having been scratched by the Nazgul.
Dialogue box: "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring!"
Elrond: "The time of the Elves is over. My people are leaving these shores. Who will you look to when we've gone?"
IM: "It is in Men that we must place our hope."
Panel 6 - IM and Elrond still chatting.
Elrond: "Men? Men are weak. It is because of Men the Ring survives. No, you need someone with bigger and more powerful...tools."
Panel 7 - Silence. IM and Elrond look into each other's eyes, longingly.
Panel 8 - IM and Elrond in a full embrace and liplock. Their hands furtively caress each other's backs (and backsides).
IM: "Why did I think I could place my hope in men? I need the other white meat...only found in elves!"
Elrond: "Oh hold me and never let go, Mr Anderson!"
Panel 9 - IM and Elrond still "exploring" each other's bodies, but IM has a quizzical look on his face (o.O).
IM: "What was that?"
Elrond: "Shut up and kiss me, Magneto."
Sir Ian McKellan Vs Singapore
Ok, because Theo so nicely asked and even provided the link to the original article, here's one of Sir Ian McKellan of LOTR and X-Men fame:
Panel 1 - Just a dialogue box that says: "And now, some words from a very special guest."
Panel 2 - Profile of Ian McKellan. IM is walking about Singapore. You can clearly see the Benjamin Sheares bridge in the background.
IM: "Hello. My name is Sir Ian McKellan. You may remember me from such blockbuster hits as the Lord of the Rings and X-Men trilogies."
Panel 3 - Same. This time, we can see the Merlion.
IM: "You may have recently heard the Singapore government banned me from appearing nude in the production of William Shakespeare's "King Lear"."
Panel 4 - IM has stopped walking. The camera is starting to pull out and we can start to see a bit of the Esplanade in the background (don't show too much just yet though!).
IM: "What century do we live in? Surely the people in charge can see that this performance is of an artistic nature, and not some graphic attempt just to show off my naughty bits! As a sovereign state under former British rule, surely you can tell the difference between the two!"
Panel 5 - An eye-in-the-sky view of the Esplanade. IM is a tiny talking head who's gesturing rudely at the Esplanade building, or more accurately, the two durians/fly's eyes.
IM: "I mean, really. You ban me from exposing my bits for artistic purposes, but at the same time, you've got those two grotesque and perverse non-artistic balls at the waterfront which you call your "Esplanade"."
Panel 6 - The camera has zoomed back into IM's profile.
IM: "I rest my case. Come watch me in "King Lear" and if you're lucky, I might get naughty flash the audience!"
Panel 1 - Just a dialogue box that says: "And now, some words from a very special guest."
Panel 2 - Profile of Ian McKellan. IM is walking about Singapore. You can clearly see the Benjamin Sheares bridge in the background.
IM: "Hello. My name is Sir Ian McKellan. You may remember me from such blockbuster hits as the Lord of the Rings and X-Men trilogies."
Panel 3 - Same. This time, we can see the Merlion.
IM: "You may have recently heard the Singapore government banned me from appearing nude in the production of William Shakespeare's "King Lear"."
Panel 4 - IM has stopped walking. The camera is starting to pull out and we can start to see a bit of the Esplanade in the background (don't show too much just yet though!).
IM: "What century do we live in? Surely the people in charge can see that this performance is of an artistic nature, and not some graphic attempt just to show off my naughty bits! As a sovereign state under former British rule, surely you can tell the difference between the two!"
Panel 5 - An eye-in-the-sky view of the Esplanade. IM is a tiny talking head who's gesturing rudely at the Esplanade building, or more accurately, the two durians/fly's eyes.
IM: "I mean, really. You ban me from exposing my bits for artistic purposes, but at the same time, you've got those two grotesque and perverse non-artistic balls at the waterfront which you call your "Esplanade"."
Panel 6 - The camera has zoomed back into IM's profile.
IM: "I rest my case. Come watch me in "King Lear" and if you're lucky, I might get naughty flash the audience!"
Friday, July 20, 2007
Gandalf the G*ey?
Ian (not McKellen), are you thinking what I'm thinking? Hurhurhur... new comic ideas! "Gandalf the Ghey subjects poor Frodo to his whims!" *gasps* Hehehe... Or maybe saying to Wolverine (a very aghast Hugh Jackman): "I find you...very attractive, Wolverine" and then lifting him up with his powers. LOL!!!
Ian McKellen: It's about time Singapore grew up
-Recognise gay rights, McKellen urges Singapore
-Repressed Singapore Tells Ian McKellen: Don't Get Naked
British actor Ian McKellen has urged tightly-governed Singapore to loosen up and repeal its archaic laws barring homosexual acts.
SINGAPORE, July 19, 2007 (LifeSiteNews.com) - Unable to find a "gay bar" or display nudity in an upcoming performance of Shakespeare's "King Lear", British actor Ian McKellen has now called upon Singapore's government to overturn laws against homosexuality.
McKellen, 68, is known to millions around the world for his roles as "Gandalf" the wizard in the "Lord of the Rings" and for his role as the evil villain and mastermind "Magneto" in the "X-Men" Trilogy and has used his star-power to promote homosexual issues.
"Coming to Singapore where unfortunately you've still got those dreadful laws that we British left behind... it's about time Singapore grew up, I think, and realized that gay people are here to stay," McKellen said in an interview with Class 95 radio station, a member of the state-run MediaCorp.
Singapore's Penal Code Section 377A prohibits homosexual acts and solicitations as "gross indecency with another male person" with prison time of nearly two years. The law dates back to the city-state's colonial 19th century administration by the British Empire and is supported by the Singapore's largely conservative population.
McKellen is performing with the Royal Shakespeare Company touring productions of William Shakespeare's "King Lear" and Anton Chekhov's "The Seagull." The Company's world tour starts Thursday in Singapore at the Esplanade, South-East Asia's most modern performing arts centre. McKellen agreed to forbear on his planned nude scene where Lear is sent into exile, in order that minors under 18 in the tiny city-state could attend the performances.
"Call it censorship, call it advice, it gets in the way a little bit. I think it's a little bit silly," McKellen was quoted as saying at a tour briefing.
"As a gay man invited here with the full cognizance of the government, how can they not notice that my right to have sex are inhibited by the country?" McKellen complained in an interview with Reuters. McKellen told the press agency that he only cared to discuss acting and homosexuality saying, "I am just public on those two issues."
Source: http://www.lifesite.net/ldn/2007/jul/07071908.html
Ian McKellen: It's about time Singapore grew up
-Recognise gay rights, McKellen urges Singapore
-Repressed Singapore Tells Ian McKellen: Don't Get Naked
British actor Ian McKellen has urged tightly-governed Singapore to loosen up and repeal its archaic laws barring homosexual acts.
SINGAPORE, July 19, 2007 (LifeSiteNews.com) - Unable to find a "gay bar" or display nudity in an upcoming performance of Shakespeare's "King Lear", British actor Ian McKellen has now called upon Singapore's government to overturn laws against homosexuality.
McKellen, 68, is known to millions around the world for his roles as "Gandalf" the wizard in the "Lord of the Rings" and for his role as the evil villain and mastermind "Magneto" in the "X-Men" Trilogy and has used his star-power to promote homosexual issues.
"Coming to Singapore where unfortunately you've still got those dreadful laws that we British left behind... it's about time Singapore grew up, I think, and realized that gay people are here to stay," McKellen said in an interview with Class 95 radio station, a member of the state-run MediaCorp.
Singapore's Penal Code Section 377A prohibits homosexual acts and solicitations as "gross indecency with another male person" with prison time of nearly two years. The law dates back to the city-state's colonial 19th century administration by the British Empire and is supported by the Singapore's largely conservative population.
McKellen is performing with the Royal Shakespeare Company touring productions of William Shakespeare's "King Lear" and Anton Chekhov's "The Seagull." The Company's world tour starts Thursday in Singapore at the Esplanade, South-East Asia's most modern performing arts centre. McKellen agreed to forbear on his planned nude scene where Lear is sent into exile, in order that minors under 18 in the tiny city-state could attend the performances.
"Call it censorship, call it advice, it gets in the way a little bit. I think it's a little bit silly," McKellen was quoted as saying at a tour briefing.
"As a gay man invited here with the full cognizance of the government, how can they not notice that my right to have sex are inhibited by the country?" McKellen complained in an interview with Reuters. McKellen told the press agency that he only cared to discuss acting and homosexuality saying, "I am just public on those two issues."
Source: http://www.lifesite.net/ldn/2007/jul/07071908.html
Which is your favourite script so far?
Alrighty! I've just started a poll in the side column where readers of our blog (yeah, all two of you, not including Theo and myself) can vote for which ones they want to see made into a comic strip.
To read all the scripts in detail, go to Labels, also in the side column, and click on script. Read, enjoy and vote for your favourite!
Hey Theo, we should probably try and "advertise" this site out to as many people as we can and get people voting! Any suggestions as to how to go about doing that? It'd be great if we could get some feedback from some comcis professionals and stuff...one small step at a time though.
Perhaps contact your friend who owns Living Between Wednesdays and see if she likes our site and vote for her favourite?
I think it's probably fair that Theo and I don't vote ourselves, so that we can get some sort of unbiased indication as to which scripts are people's favourites.
To read all the scripts in detail, go to Labels, also in the side column, and click on script. Read, enjoy and vote for your favourite!
Hey Theo, we should probably try and "advertise" this site out to as many people as we can and get people voting! Any suggestions as to how to go about doing that? It'd be great if we could get some feedback from some comcis professionals and stuff...one small step at a time though.
Perhaps contact your friend who owns Living Between Wednesdays and see if she likes our site and vote for her favourite?
I think it's probably fair that Theo and I don't vote ourselves, so that we can get some sort of unbiased indication as to which scripts are people's favourites.
Justice for all!
Ok, about time I get some creative juices flowing!
Panel 1 - The Justice League, from that terrible cartoon from the 70s/80s, "Super Friends". It'd be great to pay homage to them while they're in this pose (minus the words below):
Dialogue box across the top of panel: "And now, a special service announcement brought to you by brought to you by the Justice League!"
Panel 2 - Superman in the left foreground. Batman can be seen in the background punching out the Joker while Wonder Woman is using her bracelets to deflect bullets from the Joker's goons.
Superman: "Hey kids, ever wish you could be a superhero and be part of the Justice League?"
Panel 3 - Same shot, but with different characters in the background. Flash is running rings around Gorilla Grodd while Green Lantern has just created a giant boxing glove from his ring to punch Sinestro in the stomach.
Superman: "You don't need to be an alien, or filthy rich, or an Amazon, or have a magical ring, or can run really fast, or be able to swim underwater and talk to fish...
Panel 4 - Superman stops and turns to look at the background. Aquaman is talking to some fish while Black Manta, his archenemy, laughs on and simultaneously fries up some seafood with his heat gun (or other suitable weapon).
Superman: "..."
Panel 5 - Superman has turned back to face the reader again. Aquaman is now swimming away as fast as he can while Black Manta gives chase, laughing maniacally. You can see scores of dead fish (and other underwater creatures) all lying at the bottom of the panel, some half charred while others have been completely burnt to a crisp. Think burnt fish fingers/sticks.
Superman: "Errr...scratch that last bit. Anyway, you don't need super powers to be part of the Justice League!
Panel 6 - Apache Chief and Black Vulcan in the background, posing, but with sad faces, indicating how useless they are to the Justice League.
Superman: "After all, we let Black Vulcan and Apache Chief join our ranks!"
Panel 7 - Zan and Jayna in the background. Both of them are in the middle of transforming, Zan into a blanket soaked and dripping with water and Jayna into a platypus. Why platypus? Because they look funny. :p Gleek the monkey is flinging poo randomly and a big turd hits Superman in the side of the face. Superman looks unperturbed though.
Superman: "So if you want to join our hallowed ranks, contact us today!"
Zan: "Form...of a wet blanket!"
Jayna: "Form...of a platypus!"
Panel 8 - Batman again, this time with a huge cheesy grin and both his hands giving thumbs up signs. He's got huge dollar signs in his eyes.
Superman: "All we need is your credit card number and for you to sign a waiver allowing us to use it whenever we need to."
Panel 9 - Batman doing a little dance, throwing money and bags of cash in the air. Superman has his hand cupped to his side of the face as if he's whispering to the reader. His left hand thumbs in the direction of Batman.
Superman: "After all, how do you think Bruce pays for all his nifty little gadgets?
Panel 10 - It's a dialogue box engulfing the entire panel.
Dialogue box: "So, join us today! Dial 555-JUSTICE! That's 555-587-8423! Hurry, membership is extremely limited! While stocks last and batteries not included."
Tiny font at the bottom of the panel: "One-time membership fee applies: $1,000,000,000 in cold hard cash, non-refundable except in circumstances of the extinction of your entire race."
Panel 1 - The Justice League, from that terrible cartoon from the 70s/80s, "Super Friends". It'd be great to pay homage to them while they're in this pose (minus the words below):
Dialogue box across the top of panel: "And now, a special service announcement brought to you by brought to you by the Justice League!"
Panel 2 - Superman in the left foreground. Batman can be seen in the background punching out the Joker while Wonder Woman is using her bracelets to deflect bullets from the Joker's goons.
Superman: "Hey kids, ever wish you could be a superhero and be part of the Justice League?"
Panel 3 - Same shot, but with different characters in the background. Flash is running rings around Gorilla Grodd while Green Lantern has just created a giant boxing glove from his ring to punch Sinestro in the stomach.
Superman: "You don't need to be an alien, or filthy rich, or an Amazon, or have a magical ring, or can run really fast, or be able to swim underwater and talk to fish...
Panel 4 - Superman stops and turns to look at the background. Aquaman is talking to some fish while Black Manta, his archenemy, laughs on and simultaneously fries up some seafood with his heat gun (or other suitable weapon).
Superman: "..."
Panel 5 - Superman has turned back to face the reader again. Aquaman is now swimming away as fast as he can while Black Manta gives chase, laughing maniacally. You can see scores of dead fish (and other underwater creatures) all lying at the bottom of the panel, some half charred while others have been completely burnt to a crisp. Think burnt fish fingers/sticks.
Superman: "Errr...scratch that last bit. Anyway, you don't need super powers to be part of the Justice League!
Panel 6 - Apache Chief and Black Vulcan in the background, posing, but with sad faces, indicating how useless they are to the Justice League.
Superman: "After all, we let Black Vulcan and Apache Chief join our ranks!"
Panel 7 - Zan and Jayna in the background. Both of them are in the middle of transforming, Zan into a blanket soaked and dripping with water and Jayna into a platypus. Why platypus? Because they look funny. :p Gleek the monkey is flinging poo randomly and a big turd hits Superman in the side of the face. Superman looks unperturbed though.
Superman: "So if you want to join our hallowed ranks, contact us today!"
Zan: "Form...of a wet blanket!"
Jayna: "Form...of a platypus!"
Panel 8 - Batman again, this time with a huge cheesy grin and both his hands giving thumbs up signs. He's got huge dollar signs in his eyes.
Superman: "All we need is your credit card number and for you to sign a waiver allowing us to use it whenever we need to."
Panel 9 - Batman doing a little dance, throwing money and bags of cash in the air. Superman has his hand cupped to his side of the face as if he's whispering to the reader. His left hand thumbs in the direction of Batman.
Superman: "After all, how do you think Bruce pays for all his nifty little gadgets?
Panel 10 - It's a dialogue box engulfing the entire panel.
Dialogue box: "So, join us today! Dial 555-JUSTICE! That's 555-587-8423! Hurry, membership is extremely limited! While stocks last and batteries not included."
Tiny font at the bottom of the panel: "One-time membership fee applies: $1,000,000,000 in cold hard cash, non-refundable except in circumstances of the extinction of your entire race."
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Ok. I haven't run out of ideas, in case anyone was wondering. I've got LOTS of them. It's just that I don't feel inspired to actually sit down and put those ideas onto paper (or on VIRTUAL paper, as it were).
Probably works out well anyway, since it'll give Theo time to actually start/finish those drafts of scripts which have already been posted up so far. The last thing we'd want to do is to give him even MORE scripts to draft and have a backload of unfinished stuff.
I'll wait until your ready! Just give me a sign.
Probably works out well anyway, since it'll give Theo time to actually start/finish those drafts of scripts which have already been posted up so far. The last thing we'd want to do is to give him even MORE scripts to draft and have a backload of unfinished stuff.
I'll wait until your ready! Just give me a sign.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Transformers and M.A.S.K.
Say, you all ever noticed how the 2007 film version of Prime looks just like the Rhino vehicle from M.A.S.K.?
Away for a bit.
Well, I'm going away for that 3 days 2 nights Lorne trip so I won't be able to post anything here for a while...until Thursday at least! However, I've got my trusty pad (that's drafting/scripting pad...get your minds out of the gutter!) with me to scribble my ideas down on, and Theo's given me more ideas about possibly including my favourite cartoon of all time, Animaniacs, to our scripts. Not sure what there is to do at Lorne, so if I'm not doing too much during my down time, I'll flesh out some scripts.
We'll see if I can overload this blog with new posts/ideas when I come back, eh? Hopefully I'll have a lot of material to work with when I'm back...which means I'm overloading Theo even more! Haha!
OoooO...two fans perhaps? Let's spread the "gospel" of this blog, Reverend Theo!
With regards to the "40 days in the desert"...I think you'll have to ask Sharon about that one. Not sure who's kept it, if it's even BEEN kept!
We'll see if I can overload this blog with new posts/ideas when I come back, eh? Hopefully I'll have a lot of material to work with when I'm back...which means I'm overloading Theo even more! Haha!
OoooO...two fans perhaps? Let's spread the "gospel" of this blog, Reverend Theo!
With regards to the "40 days in the desert"...I think you'll have to ask Sharon about that one. Not sure who's kept it, if it's even BEEN kept!
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Labels
For the compartmental and categorical freak in each of us, there's now Labels on the sidebar. Makes it easier to search for what you want. Anyway, to see drawings, click on the "Draft" label. I've only drafts so far, still experimenting with panel layouts etc etc to get a feel for things since it's the first time in a very long while that I've drawn a comic.
Ian, think there's any way to get a copy of the "40 days in the desert" comic that Sharon and I drew for Fr. Barreteau (spelling) all those years ago in SPP?
Ian, think there's any way to get a copy of the "40 days in the desert" comic that Sharon and I drew for Fr. Barreteau (spelling) all those years ago in SPP?
Don't we all just love Bruce Campbell!!!
Andddddd to prove my loyalty to the great Bruce Campbell...
This probably gives me a very good source to get all the classic Ash lines, famous poses etc etc correct to try to do justice to BC and his dear ol' Ash character. Hehehe...
This probably gives me a very good source to get all the classic Ash lines, famous poses etc etc correct to try to do justice to BC and his dear ol' Ash character. Hehehe...
A list of....
Wooo, sorry for the lack of drawing updates so far everyone! Been a lil tied up with my revision.
Anyway, here's a list of what I hope to finish soon!
- Demolisher
- LadiesMan217 (BotLover69), revised to 8 panels
- Chris Latta(mania)
- 300 vs Transformers
- Batman vs Frank Miller (I sooo wanna do that "goddamn Batman" line!)
- I'm The Best At What I Do (Wolverine and his misadventures with the BBQ)
- BC's various auditions
- and all the Capt A ones
Wait..I think that's going to be just about every script that's posted here..hahaha, what the heck, I might as well say "Everything!"
Ok, I hope to finish everything soon!
Dear readers, feel free to vote too which script you'd like to see come out first! :oD
Anyway, here's a list of what I hope to finish soon!
- Demolisher
- LadiesMan217 (BotLover69), revised to 8 panels
- Chris Latta(mania)
- 300 vs Transformers
- Batman vs Frank Miller (I sooo wanna do that "goddamn Batman" line!)
- I'm The Best At What I Do (Wolverine and his misadventures with the BBQ)
- BC's various auditions
- and all the Capt A ones
Wait..I think that's going to be just about every script that's posted here..hahaha, what the heck, I might as well say "Everything!"
Ok, I hope to finish everything soon!
Dear readers, feel free to vote too which script you'd like to see come out first! :oD
Friday, July 6, 2007
Spider-man: Swinger!
And now, for a script WITHOUT Bruce Campbell in it!
Panel 1 - Spider-man, with his costume tattered and torn, perched atop the Empire State Building, looking down.
Spider-man: "Some days, I just hate waking up in the morning."
Panel 2 - Spidey still in his tattered costume, fighting with the Green Goblin in mid-air. The Goblin has his hands around Spidey's throat while Spidey is trying to land a punch on Goblin's face.
Spider-man: "Who am I? I'm nobody special. I'm just the ordinary kid who lives his life each day, struggling to make ends meet."
Panel 3 - Spidey, this time fighting Doc Ock on the street. Ock has got three of Spidey's limbs trapped with his tentacles, while trying to catch Spidey's free arm.
Spider-man: "A great man once told me, with great power, comes great responsibility."
Panel 4 - Spidey, back in his apartment, with his back to the reader, taking off his tattered mask and flinging it onto his bed. His wardrobe is open and you can see spare Spidey costumes (red and blue and Venom black) hanging on the inside.
Spider-man: "But what he failed to tell me...."
Panel 5 - Spidey, all of a sudden in a brand new costume (make it the Venom black one if you want to), in the middle of the dance floor of a swanky nightclub, boogey-ing and dancing with two ladies who appear to be Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane Watson!
Spider-man: "...was that great power also came with great perks!"
Panel 6 - There's a big chocolate milkshake on the counter, kind of like those you see in 60s - 70s movies. Spidey (facing the reader) leans forward and drinks through the straw of the milkshake. Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane, on opposite sides of Spider-man, both learn towards him and simultaneously kiss him on each cheek.
Spider-man: "Some days, I just hate waking up in the morning. But on others, it just feels good to be me!"
Panel 7 - Spidey, swinging in the air with both MJ and Gwen Stacy in either arm. Spidey cocks his head towards the reader and gives us a knowing wink and a thumbs up.
Spider-man: "I just love this swinging lifestyle!"
Panel 1 - Spider-man, with his costume tattered and torn, perched atop the Empire State Building, looking down.
Spider-man: "Some days, I just hate waking up in the morning."
Panel 2 - Spidey still in his tattered costume, fighting with the Green Goblin in mid-air. The Goblin has his hands around Spidey's throat while Spidey is trying to land a punch on Goblin's face.
Spider-man: "Who am I? I'm nobody special. I'm just the ordinary kid who lives his life each day, struggling to make ends meet."
Panel 3 - Spidey, this time fighting Doc Ock on the street. Ock has got three of Spidey's limbs trapped with his tentacles, while trying to catch Spidey's free arm.
Spider-man: "A great man once told me, with great power, comes great responsibility."
Panel 4 - Spidey, back in his apartment, with his back to the reader, taking off his tattered mask and flinging it onto his bed. His wardrobe is open and you can see spare Spidey costumes (red and blue and Venom black) hanging on the inside.
Spider-man: "But what he failed to tell me...."
Panel 5 - Spidey, all of a sudden in a brand new costume (make it the Venom black one if you want to), in the middle of the dance floor of a swanky nightclub, boogey-ing and dancing with two ladies who appear to be Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane Watson!
Spider-man: "...was that great power also came with great perks!"
Panel 6 - There's a big chocolate milkshake on the counter, kind of like those you see in 60s - 70s movies. Spidey (facing the reader) leans forward and drinks through the straw of the milkshake. Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane, on opposite sides of Spider-man, both learn towards him and simultaneously kiss him on each cheek.
Spider-man: "Some days, I just hate waking up in the morning. But on others, it just feels good to be me!"
Panel 7 - Spidey, swinging in the air with both MJ and Gwen Stacy in either arm. Spidey cocks his head towards the reader and gives us a knowing wink and a thumbs up.
Spider-man: "I just love this swinging lifestyle!"
More unseen audition footage of Bruce Campbell!
While Theo's asleep, Ian comes out to play...and write more scripts!
Panel 1 - Completely empty, with just the words filling up the panel.
Dialogue box: "For the first time ever! Never before seen audition footage of Bruce Campbell!"
Panel 2 - Darth Vader and BC, in full Jedi gear, in combat on the Death Star, lightsaber and chainsaw interlocked together.
Dialogue box: "Star Wars!"
Darth Vader: "I've been waiting for you Obi-Wan. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was the learner, but now I am the master."
BC: "Honey, you got reeeeal ugly."
Panel 3 - BC and Vader are still locked in combat, Vader whirling his lightsaber while BC waves his chainsaw around like a madman.
Darth Vader: "The force is strong in this one."
BC: "Say hello to the 21st century! Come get some."
Panel 4 - BC as Indiana Jones, seated in one of those mining carts from The Temple of Doom. Shorty (that annoying Asian kid from Temple of Doom) is seated next to him with an anguished look on his face. Shorty's hands are clasped to both sides of his face, a la Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. BC snaps his whip to release the clutch/lever to get the mining cart moving off the track.
Dialogue box: "Indiana Jones!"
Shorty: "Indy! They're behind us!"
BC: "Buckle up bonehead, 'cause we're going for a ride!"
Panel 5 - The boat from Jaws. BC is dressed as the grizzled Captain and Roy Schneider (the doctor from Jaws) has just seen the Great White shark and backs into the cabin of the boat uttering the most famous line from the movie.
Dialogue box: "Jaws!"
Roy Schneider: "You're gonna need a bigger boat."
BC: "Now whoa whoa whoa right there, spinach chin!"
Panel 6 - BC advances to the stern of the boat and spots the Great White. He pulls out his shotgun and waves it frantically in the air.
BC: "Look here you ugly mug, this is my BOOMSTICK!"
Panel 7 - The shark swims away.
BC: "That's it, go ahead and run. Run home and cry to mama!"
Panel 8 - BC is dressed as Gandalf, in the famous scene from Lord of the Rings where he "sacrifices" himself to block the Balrog's past.
Dialogue box: "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring!"
Frodo: "Gandalf!"
BC (turning backwards): "Who wants to know?"
Panel 9 - BC raises his chainsaw in an attempt to scare the Balrog off.
BC: "My name's Ashley J. Williams. I work in S-Mart. Housewares. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that? Run home and cry to mama."
Panel 10 - BC slams his chainsaw down onto the ground.
BC: "YOU !!! SHALL NOT !!! PASS....WIND !!!"
Panel 11 - The Balrog looks confused for a moment, then advances.
Panel 12 - BC tries a different approach.
BC: "Uh...klaatu varada nikto?"
Panel 1 - Completely empty, with just the words filling up the panel.
Dialogue box: "For the first time ever! Never before seen audition footage of Bruce Campbell!"
Panel 2 - Darth Vader and BC, in full Jedi gear, in combat on the Death Star, lightsaber and chainsaw interlocked together.
Dialogue box: "Star Wars!"
Darth Vader: "I've been waiting for you Obi-Wan. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was the learner, but now I am the master."
BC: "Honey, you got reeeeal ugly."
Panel 3 - BC and Vader are still locked in combat, Vader whirling his lightsaber while BC waves his chainsaw around like a madman.
Darth Vader: "The force is strong in this one."
BC: "Say hello to the 21st century! Come get some."
Panel 4 - BC as Indiana Jones, seated in one of those mining carts from The Temple of Doom. Shorty (that annoying Asian kid from Temple of Doom) is seated next to him with an anguished look on his face. Shorty's hands are clasped to both sides of his face, a la Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. BC snaps his whip to release the clutch/lever to get the mining cart moving off the track.
Dialogue box: "Indiana Jones!"
Shorty: "Indy! They're behind us!"
BC: "Buckle up bonehead, 'cause we're going for a ride!"
Panel 5 - The boat from Jaws. BC is dressed as the grizzled Captain and Roy Schneider (the doctor from Jaws) has just seen the Great White shark and backs into the cabin of the boat uttering the most famous line from the movie.
Dialogue box: "Jaws!"
Roy Schneider: "You're gonna need a bigger boat."
BC: "Now whoa whoa whoa right there, spinach chin!"
Panel 6 - BC advances to the stern of the boat and spots the Great White. He pulls out his shotgun and waves it frantically in the air.
BC: "Look here you ugly mug, this is my BOOMSTICK!"
Panel 7 - The shark swims away.
BC: "That's it, go ahead and run. Run home and cry to mama!"
Panel 8 - BC is dressed as Gandalf, in the famous scene from Lord of the Rings where he "sacrifices" himself to block the Balrog's past.
Dialogue box: "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring!"
Frodo: "Gandalf!"
BC (turning backwards): "Who wants to know?"
Panel 9 - BC raises his chainsaw in an attempt to scare the Balrog off.
BC: "My name's Ashley J. Williams. I work in S-Mart. Housewares. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that? Run home and cry to mama."
Panel 10 - BC slams his chainsaw down onto the ground.
BC: "YOU !!! SHALL NOT !!! PASS....WIND !!!"
Panel 11 - The Balrog looks confused for a moment, then advances.
Panel 12 - BC tries a different approach.
BC: "Uh...klaatu varada nikto?"
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Mary Jane you wench (a continuation)!
As my last contribution before I go offline and fetch Aeris from the train station, thought I'd finished this up. Thanks to Theo for the idea!
Panel Y (actually, let's just call this Panel 8) - As Captain Ash and Spider-man charge towards each other, Superman, who was a casual observer several panels ago (talk about foreshadowing!) all of a sudden flies down and swoops up Mary Jane in his arms.
Panel 9 - Captain Ash and Spider-man stop momentarily and look up to the sky. Spider-man points upwards.
Spider-man: "Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane!"
BC: "It's some schmuck in red undies with your girlfriend, you moron!"
Panel 10 - Up in the sky, Superman has Mary Jane in his arms. She doesn't look afraid though...she's embracing Superman with her arms around his neck!
Mary Jane: "So...are you really more powerful than a locomotive? I mean...everywhere?"
Panel 11 - Mary Jane looks down at Superman's...uh...package.
Mary Jane: "Please don't say you're faster than a speeding bullet."
Panel 12 - Superman nods and Mary Jane leans in and kisses him on the lips.
Panel 13 - Superman gives the reader a knowing wink.
Superman: "Hail to the SUPER king, baby!"
Panel Y (actually, let's just call this Panel 8) - As Captain Ash and Spider-man charge towards each other, Superman, who was a casual observer several panels ago (talk about foreshadowing!) all of a sudden flies down and swoops up Mary Jane in his arms.
Panel 9 - Captain Ash and Spider-man stop momentarily and look up to the sky. Spider-man points upwards.
Spider-man: "Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane!"
BC: "It's some schmuck in red undies with your girlfriend, you moron!"
Panel 10 - Up in the sky, Superman has Mary Jane in his arms. She doesn't look afraid though...she's embracing Superman with her arms around his neck!
Mary Jane: "So...are you really more powerful than a locomotive? I mean...everywhere?"
Panel 11 - Mary Jane looks down at Superman's...uh...package.
Mary Jane: "Please don't say you're faster than a speeding bullet."
Panel 12 - Superman nods and Mary Jane leans in and kisses him on the lips.
Panel 13 - Superman gives the reader a knowing wink.
Superman: "Hail to the SUPER king, baby!"
Capt A and.... The Matrix?
Right, Ian and I were discussing our Lord of The Rings jokes quite a long time ago and how we'd have Hugo Weaving saying to Frodo: "Welcome to the Matrix, Frodo" and Gandalf proclaiming that he is Magneto... then in all the Captain A(sh) furore, I came up with this:
Agent Smith (asking gravely and pointing at Captain Ash's forehead): What's the A on your head stand for? Anderson?
Capt Ash: Who wants to know?
Agent Smith: I am Agent Smith. Agent of the Matrix, some time rebel leader of the elves, leader of the Decepticons and anarchist, V.
Ash: Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town.
*points double barreled shotgun under Smith's nose and shoots*
Ian: Just added that red bit there since Hugo Weaving also voiced Megatron in the live action Transformers movie!
Agent Smith (asking gravely and pointing at Captain Ash's forehead): What's the A on your head stand for? Anderson?
Capt Ash: Who wants to know?
Agent Smith: I am Agent Smith. Agent of the Matrix, some time rebel leader of the elves, leader of the Decepticons and anarchist, V.
Ash: Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town.
*points double barreled shotgun under Smith's nose and shoots*
Ian: Just added that red bit there since Hugo Weaving also voiced Megatron in the live action Transformers movie!
Hail to the A, baby!
Alas...'twas too good to be true for our hero, Ash.
Panel 1 - Captain Ash poses with the American flag in his left hand, while he gives a salute with his right han...uh...chainsaw.
BC: "And I will continue to fight for truth, justice, and...and..."
Panel 2 - same as the first, but the flag drops.
BC: "uh...klaatu varada nikto! Yeah."
Voice balloon from off-panel: "CUT!"
Panel 3 - A director approaches Captain Ash. He tries not to meet BC's eyes.
Director: "Thank you Mr Campbell, uh...we'll let you know if you...uh...get the part."
BC: "Wasn't I great? Remember: I want my full name to appear on the credits. That's 'Ashley J. Williams'. And I want a hotty to play Sharon Carter. That chick from sporting goods at S-mart would be perfect."
Panel 4 - Both men just stand there. Silence.
Panel 5 - Captain Ash talking to the director again.
BC: "What? Was the acting not good enough? Look, maybe I didn't say every tiny syllable, no. But..."
Panel 6 - More silence.
Panel 7 - Captain Ash talking.
BC: "Could I at least keep the costume?"
Panel 8 - Captain Ash, still in costume, standing atop some electrical appliances in S-Mart. There's a huge S-Mart sign to show where he is.
Dialogue box: "My name is Ashley J. Williams. I work at the Housewares section of S-Mart. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart."
Panel 9 - The camera starts closing in on Captain Ash. Only his profile fits the panel now.
Dialogue box: "Sure, I could have been a star. I could have been the king of Hollywood. But in my own way, I AM king."
Panel 10 - Close up of Captain Ash's face. His finger is pointed at the "A" on his forehead.
Dialogue box: "My name is Ashley J. Williams."
BC: "Hail to the A, baby."
Panel 1 - Captain Ash poses with the American flag in his left hand, while he gives a salute with his right han...uh...chainsaw.
BC: "And I will continue to fight for truth, justice, and...and..."
Panel 2 - same as the first, but the flag drops.
BC: "uh...klaatu varada nikto! Yeah."
Voice balloon from off-panel: "CUT!"
Panel 3 - A director approaches Captain Ash. He tries not to meet BC's eyes.
Director: "Thank you Mr Campbell, uh...we'll let you know if you...uh...get the part."
BC: "Wasn't I great? Remember: I want my full name to appear on the credits. That's 'Ashley J. Williams'. And I want a hotty to play Sharon Carter. That chick from sporting goods at S-mart would be perfect."
Panel 4 - Both men just stand there. Silence.
Panel 5 - Captain Ash talking to the director again.
BC: "What? Was the acting not good enough? Look, maybe I didn't say every tiny syllable, no. But..."
Panel 6 - More silence.
Panel 7 - Captain Ash talking.
BC: "Could I at least keep the costume?"
Panel 8 - Captain Ash, still in costume, standing atop some electrical appliances in S-Mart. There's a huge S-Mart sign to show where he is.
Dialogue box: "My name is Ashley J. Williams. I work at the Housewares section of S-Mart. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart."
Panel 9 - The camera starts closing in on Captain Ash. Only his profile fits the panel now.
Dialogue box: "Sure, I could have been a star. I could have been the king of Hollywood. But in my own way, I AM king."
Panel 10 - Close up of Captain Ash's face. His finger is pointed at the "A" on his forehead.
Dialogue box: "My name is Ashley J. Williams."
BC: "Hail to the A, baby."
Mary Jane you wench!
Panel 1 - Captain Ash has Mary Jane Watson in his arms and about to kiss her. MJ clearly has a disgusted look at her face and her hands are trying to push Ash back.
BC: "Gimme some sugar baby."
Panel 2 - All of a sudden, Spider-man swings out of nowhere and kicks Captain Ash in the face.
BC: "Oof!"
Panel 3 - Spider-man and Captain Ash face down each other. Spider-man shoots some web fluid at Captain Ash, who easily cuts it away with his chainsaw. You can clearly see Superman in the background, with red underwear on, flying past, watching the fight.
Dialogue box: "In the most astonishing crossover movie this summer: It's a fight to the death as Captain America and Spider-man fight for Mary Jane Watson's affections...TO THE DEATH!
Spider-man: "You stay away from her, freak!"
BC: "Looks who's talking, you effeminate screwhead! Who dresses up in their underwear to fight?"
Panel 4 - Spider-man puts himself between MJ and Captain Ash.
Spider-man: "To get to her, you've got to go through me!"
Panel 5 - Ash spits on the ground and pulls out his boomstick.
BC: "Yo, she-bitch! Let's go!"
Panels 6 onwards - As much of a fight scene as possible. Please take creative license here Theo...have Captain Ash fighting dirty and cram in as many cheesy "Wham! Bap! Pow!" bubbles like those on the Batman TV series.
Panel X - Spider-man and Captain Ash, clearly tired, their costumes torn and tattered and both men sweating and bleeding, hunch over and face each other for the final time.
BC: "You still want a piece of me? Huh? Come get some."
Alright. I was inspired by this seemingly crazy crossover, but now I can't seem to think of a proper ending that will do this justice. Suggestions, Theo? At this rate, we can have a weekly strip of just Bruce Campbell as Captain America!
BC: "Gimme some sugar baby."
Panel 2 - All of a sudden, Spider-man swings out of nowhere and kicks Captain Ash in the face.
BC: "Oof!"
Panel 3 - Spider-man and Captain Ash face down each other. Spider-man shoots some web fluid at Captain Ash, who easily cuts it away with his chainsaw. You can clearly see Superman in the background, with red underwear on, flying past, watching the fight.
Dialogue box: "In the most astonishing crossover movie this summer: It's a fight to the death as Captain America and Spider-man fight for Mary Jane Watson's affections...TO THE DEATH!
Spider-man: "You stay away from her, freak!"
BC: "Looks who's talking, you effeminate screwhead! Who dresses up in their underwear to fight?"
Panel 4 - Spider-man puts himself between MJ and Captain Ash.
Spider-man: "To get to her, you've got to go through me!"
Panel 5 - Ash spits on the ground and pulls out his boomstick.
BC: "Yo, she-bitch! Let's go!"
Panels 6 onwards - As much of a fight scene as possible. Please take creative license here Theo...have Captain Ash fighting dirty and cram in as many cheesy "Wham! Bap! Pow!" bubbles like those on the Batman TV series.
Panel X - Spider-man and Captain Ash, clearly tired, their costumes torn and tattered and both men sweating and bleeding, hunch over and face each other for the final time.
BC: "You still want a piece of me? Huh? Come get some."
Alright. I was inspired by this seemingly crazy crossover, but now I can't seem to think of a proper ending that will do this justice. Suggestions, Theo? At this rate, we can have a weekly strip of just Bruce Campbell as Captain America!
When Captain Ash throws his mighty shiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeld...
By popular demand (from the one other person who actually comes to read the stuff we post here): More of Bruce Campbell's misadventures as the Star Spangled Centurion - Captain Ash!
Panel 1 - Captain Ash and Iron Man, standing some distance away, like one of those showdowns you see in Westerns. (Camera angle: Perhaps starting from Iron Man's waist, and you see Captain America in the background. To emphasise that it's a "Western" kind of showdown, you could have one of those dust balls blowing across the panel)
Dialogue box: "And now: Outtakes and deleted scenes from Bruce Campbell's Captain America audition tape!"
BC: "Buckle up ironhead, coz you're going for a ride!"
Panel 2 - Captain Ash throws his shield towards Iron Man, who easily evades it.
Dialogue box (musical lyrics, so if you could add a note or two beside the text to indicate it's music...): "When Captain America throws his mighty shiiiiiieeeeld....."
BC: "That's it, go ahead and run. Run home and cry to mama!"
Panel 3 - Iron Man sticks out his tongue at Captain Ash with the words "neener neener" surrounding his head. Don't ask how Iron Man can stick his tongue out through his helmet...
Iron Man: "That the best you can do? Haha, you're a jerk! You're a goody little two-shoes!"
Panel 4 - Close up on Captain Ash's face. He has a raised eyebrow, a la The Rock.
Off panel Iron Man voice balloon: "Goody little two-shoes!"
Panel 5 - Captain Ash's expression has changed to anger. He reaches for the boomstick strapped to his back.
Off panel Iron Man voice balloon: "Goody little two-shoes!"
Panel 6 - Captain Ash shoots Iron Man in the face...metallic helmet pieces fly everywhere and we can see part of Iron Man's brain exploding out! A big caption of "BANG!" can be placed somewhere in the panel.
Iron Man: "Goody lit..."
Panel 7 - Captain Ash stands over the body of Iron Man and kicks him in the nuts.
BC: "I'm not THAT good."
Panel 1 - Captain Ash and Iron Man, standing some distance away, like one of those showdowns you see in Westerns. (Camera angle: Perhaps starting from Iron Man's waist, and you see Captain America in the background. To emphasise that it's a "Western" kind of showdown, you could have one of those dust balls blowing across the panel)
Dialogue box: "And now: Outtakes and deleted scenes from Bruce Campbell's Captain America audition tape!"
BC: "Buckle up ironhead, coz you're going for a ride!"
Panel 2 - Captain Ash throws his shield towards Iron Man, who easily evades it.
Dialogue box (musical lyrics, so if you could add a note or two beside the text to indicate it's music...): "When Captain America throws his mighty shiiiiiieeeeld....."
BC: "That's it, go ahead and run. Run home and cry to mama!"
Panel 3 - Iron Man sticks out his tongue at Captain Ash with the words "neener neener" surrounding his head. Don't ask how Iron Man can stick his tongue out through his helmet...
Iron Man: "That the best you can do? Haha, you're a jerk! You're a goody little two-shoes!"
Panel 4 - Close up on Captain Ash's face. He has a raised eyebrow, a la The Rock.
Off panel Iron Man voice balloon: "Goody little two-shoes!"
Panel 5 - Captain Ash's expression has changed to anger. He reaches for the boomstick strapped to his back.
Off panel Iron Man voice balloon: "Goody little two-shoes!"
Panel 6 - Captain Ash shoots Iron Man in the face...metallic helmet pieces fly everywhere and we can see part of Iron Man's brain exploding out! A big caption of "BANG!" can be placed somewhere in the panel.
Iron Man: "Goody lit..."
Panel 7 - Captain Ash stands over the body of Iron Man and kicks him in the nuts.
BC: "I'm not THAT good."
Bruce Campbell as Captain America
Hey Ian, how about this image drawn as the panel before the one where he points to the "A" on his head? Imagine him going: "What's that? Surrender?"
And then the next panel is the classic Capt A one. Hehehe.. :oD
And then the next panel is the classic Capt A one. Hehehe.. :oD
Bruce Campbell is Captain America!
Still on Captain America and Bruce Campbell...this one MUST come immediately after the previous one, because I'm still establishing Bruce Campbell as Captain America.
Panel 1 - Bruce Campbell, in Captain America outfit (still with the chainsaw and the shield) posing, a la THIS image.
Dialogue box: "Exclusive! Secret tapes from Bruce Campbell's audition for the Captain America movie: revealed for the first time!"
Bruce Campbell (BC): Klaatu varada nik*coughcoughcough*to!
Panel 2 - Captain America slugging Iron Man (Theo: If you could make it such that it looks like the cover to Captain America #1, that'd be great! Perhaps show BC's chainsaw also ripping into Iron Man's armour)
Dialogue box: "See Captain America fighting for leadership of the Avengers!"
BC: "Well hello Mr Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leading but two things: Jack and shit. And Jack left town."
Panel 3 - Bruce Campbell throwing his shield into some A.I.M or Hydra agents.
Dialogue box: "Watch as Captain America protects our land from terrorists!"
BC: "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! You see this? This is my BOOMSTICK! Errr...shield. Sorry."
Panel 4 - Close up of Bruce Campbell pointing at the "A" on his forehead. (Theo: You MUST use this classic image right here!)
Dialogue box: "Witness Captain America's passion for the red, white and blue!"
Bruce Campbell (BC): "Surrender? SURRENDER?! You think this letter on my head stands for France?"
Panel 5 - Bruce Campbell puts his hand to the side of his mouth, as if he is whispering to the reader.
BC: "It actually stands for Ash. Ashley J. Williams. Who wants to know?"
Panel 6 - Bruce Campbell bends a hot chick backwards (think one of those trashy romance novel covers) and is just about to kiss her.
Dialogue box: "See Captain America save the day and then get the girl!"
BC: "Gimme some sugar baby."
Panel 7 - Captain America in a traditional "US Rules!" pose (Perhaps something like the background image here)
Dialogue box: "Come watch Captain America: the sure-to-be highest grossing blockbuster movie of 2008, coming soon to a cinema near you!"
BC: "Hail to the king, baby."
I think these two scripts have been by far my favourites to write, especially this one!
Panel 1 - Bruce Campbell, in Captain America outfit (still with the chainsaw and the shield) posing, a la THIS image.
Dialogue box: "Exclusive! Secret tapes from Bruce Campbell's audition for the Captain America movie: revealed for the first time!"
Bruce Campbell (BC): Klaatu varada nik*coughcoughcough*to!
Panel 2 - Captain America slugging Iron Man (Theo: If you could make it such that it looks like the cover to Captain America #1, that'd be great! Perhaps show BC's chainsaw also ripping into Iron Man's armour)
Dialogue box: "See Captain America fighting for leadership of the Avengers!"
BC: "Well hello Mr Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leading but two things: Jack and shit. And Jack left town."
Panel 3 - Bruce Campbell throwing his shield into some A.I.M or Hydra agents.
Dialogue box: "Watch as Captain America protects our land from terrorists!"
BC: "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! You see this? This is my BOOMSTICK! Errr...shield. Sorry."
Panel 4 - Close up of Bruce Campbell pointing at the "A" on his forehead. (Theo: You MUST use this classic image right here!)
Dialogue box: "Witness Captain America's passion for the red, white and blue!"
Bruce Campbell (BC): "Surrender? SURRENDER?! You think this letter on my head stands for France?"
Panel 5 - Bruce Campbell puts his hand to the side of his mouth, as if he is whispering to the reader.
BC: "It actually stands for Ash. Ashley J. Williams. Who wants to know?"
Panel 6 - Bruce Campbell bends a hot chick backwards (think one of those trashy romance novel covers) and is just about to kiss her.
Dialogue box: "See Captain America save the day and then get the girl!"
BC: "Gimme some sugar baby."
Panel 7 - Captain America in a traditional "US Rules!" pose (Perhaps something like the background image here)
Dialogue box: "Come watch Captain America: the sure-to-be highest grossing blockbuster movie of 2008, coming soon to a cinema near you!"
BC: "Hail to the king, baby."
I think these two scripts have been by far my favourites to write, especially this one!
Captain America: Groovy.
I wanted to do something about Captain America's death, and since you were talking about Bruce Campbell, I thought this one up!
Panel 1 - Image of Captain America surrendering to Iron Man (check out pages of Civil War #7 for a shot). Perhaps he could have his arms together, stretched out, as if presenting himself to be handcuffed. (It'd be funny if someone threw something at Iron Man's head and it bounced off...or splashed like a tomato)
Dialogue box: "In 2007, Captain America voluntarily surrendered to S.H.I.E.L.D and the forces led by Iron Man to end the Marvel Civil War."
Panel 2 - Image of Captain America being handcuffed and led away.
Dialogue box: "Captain America was arrested and put on a very public trial."
Panel 3 - Captain America, lying on the ground bleeding to death. (Check out this picture for reference)
Dialogue box: "But a single bullet from an assassin's rifle ended his legacy."
Panel 4 - completely black, with only the text in white.
Text going across the middle of the panel as large as possible: "Or did it?"
Panel 5 - Ash mimicking his pose from Army of Darkness but in a Captain America costume. The "wench" by his side is wearing a S.H.I.E.L.D uniform - Sharon Carter perhaps? (Theo: Perhaps for this, it'd be great to recreate the ENTIRE movie poster of Army of Darkness - click to see - but dress Ash up in a Captain America costume. His chainsaw MUST be seen though. Please put Captain America's shield in Ash's left hand though)
Dialogue box at the top of the panel: "Coming in 2008: Bruce Campbell auditions for the Captain America live action movie!"
Bruce Campbell: "Groovy.
Panel 1 - Image of Captain America surrendering to Iron Man (check out pages of Civil War #7 for a shot). Perhaps he could have his arms together, stretched out, as if presenting himself to be handcuffed. (It'd be funny if someone threw something at Iron Man's head and it bounced off...or splashed like a tomato)
Dialogue box: "In 2007, Captain America voluntarily surrendered to S.H.I.E.L.D and the forces led by Iron Man to end the Marvel Civil War."
Panel 2 - Image of Captain America being handcuffed and led away.
Dialogue box: "Captain America was arrested and put on a very public trial."
Panel 3 - Captain America, lying on the ground bleeding to death. (Check out this picture for reference)
Dialogue box: "But a single bullet from an assassin's rifle ended his legacy."
Panel 4 - completely black, with only the text in white.
Text going across the middle of the panel as large as possible: "Or did it?"
Panel 5 - Ash mimicking his pose from Army of Darkness but in a Captain America costume. The "wench" by his side is wearing a S.H.I.E.L.D uniform - Sharon Carter perhaps? (Theo: Perhaps for this, it'd be great to recreate the ENTIRE movie poster of Army of Darkness - click to see - but dress Ash up in a Captain America costume. His chainsaw MUST be seen though. Please put Captain America's shield in Ash's left hand though)
Dialogue box at the top of the panel: "Coming in 2008: Bruce Campbell auditions for the Captain America live action movie!"
Bruce Campbell: "Groovy.
Bruce Campbell auditioning for The Comedian
Hey Ian! Remember how I said BC looks perfect for the role of The Comedian in the coming Watchmen movie? How about a script of BC auditioning for the character, but still very much in his Ash mentality?
E.g. saying "Groovy." when given a form to fill in, or "Come get some." when it's his turn. And maybe one of the last few panels or something where one of the staff (a woman for our purposes) says he can't get the part. BC (Ash) then gets mad and says "Yo, she-bitch, let's go!!!" and then there's a full shot of BC in Ash mode complete with buzzing chainsaw and classic crazy Ash grin on his face.
OH!!! AND LEST I FORGET!! The reason why he's probably rejected is because he forgets his part!! Like you know how he forgets the magic word in the movie? Like "Clatto Verata Niii *cough cough*" Haha, get what I mean? :oD
Maybe a scene of him and the director of Watchmen could go like this too:
Zach Snyder: You're not one of my actors... who are you?
Ash: Who wants to know?
Zach Snyder: I am Zach Snyder. Director of 300 and Watchmen, Lord of the box office in early 2007 and leader of its fans.
Ash: Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things right now: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town.
More quotes from imdb :oD
E.g. saying "Groovy." when given a form to fill in, or "Come get some." when it's his turn. And maybe one of the last few panels or something where one of the staff (a woman for our purposes) says he can't get the part. BC (Ash) then gets mad and says "Yo, she-bitch, let's go!!!" and then there's a full shot of BC in Ash mode complete with buzzing chainsaw and classic crazy Ash grin on his face.
OH!!! AND LEST I FORGET!! The reason why he's probably rejected is because he forgets his part!! Like you know how he forgets the magic word in the movie? Like "Clatto Verata Niii *cough cough*" Haha, get what I mean? :oD
Maybe a scene of him and the director of Watchmen could go like this too:
Zach Snyder: You're not one of my actors... who are you?
Ash: Who wants to know?
Zach Snyder: I am Zach Snyder. Director of 300 and Watchmen, Lord of the box office in early 2007 and leader of its fans.
Ash: Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things right now: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town.
More quotes from imdb :oD
I'm the best at what I do!
Let's have something from Marvel Comics for a change:
Panel 1 - A close-up shot of Wolverine's face, with half his face burned off and the hair on that side of his head obviously singed and burning. His face is battle scarred and there are some open wounds and bleeds.
Dialogue box across the top of the panel:
"You wanna know what pain is? You don't know pain, bub, until you've met me."
Panel 2 - Wolverine fighting Sabretooth
Dialogue box: "I've been in more scraps than any one person could possibly have. I was born with a chip on my shoulder and a berzerker temper to match it. I'm the little guy, but unlike him, I'm no pushover and give as good as I take."
Panel 3 - Weapon X facility. Wolverine is naked in a human-sized test-tube, his face filled with anguish. Scientists standing around him are injecting adamantium into his pores (you might want to check the Marvel Comics Presents comics or any online image reference about the Weapon X project and how Wolverine got his adamantium, Theo) Wolverine lets out a loud scream of pain.
Dialogue box: "The Weapon X project taught me the true meaning of pain. When you get hot molten metal injected into your pores, you'll know what I mean."
Panel 4 - Wolverine getting the adamantium pulled out of him by Magneto a la the cover (and interior) of X-Men #25
Dialogue box: "And just when I thought the pain could get no worse, along came Magnus to show me how wrong I was."
Panel 5 - Wolverine with his claws popped and his finger beckoning, a la the Frank Miller cover of Wolverine #1 (mini-series) (Click on the link to see the cover, Theo! Perhaps a "Snikt!" somewhere in the panel would be good as well)
Dialogue box: "But whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger.
Panel 6 - Same panel as the last one, but with Wolverine's half burned face and singed hair, a la the first panel of this script.
Dialogue box: "I'm the best there is at what I do, and what I do isn't very nice."
Panel 7 - The camera pulls out and we can see Wolverine standing behind a BBQ grill, with the flame reaching just below his face. It has obviously all gone wrong for him with the flame burning half his face off. Stuck on each of his three claws that have been popped (lower down, so that they aren't visible in the other previous panels) are three separate sausages...feel free to use either chicken wings or whatever else you want to signify that he's at a BBQ.
There are several other X-men at the BBQ and they're all standing impatiently in line, holding plates. Jubilee (or Jean Grey or any other X-Man you can think of that would be funny for this scene) is first in line and she is tapping her foot impatiently.
Jubilee: "Are you done yet?"
Wolverine: "Shut up."
Panel 1 - A close-up shot of Wolverine's face, with half his face burned off and the hair on that side of his head obviously singed and burning. His face is battle scarred and there are some open wounds and bleeds.
Dialogue box across the top of the panel:
"You wanna know what pain is? You don't know pain, bub, until you've met me."
Panel 2 - Wolverine fighting Sabretooth
Dialogue box: "I've been in more scraps than any one person could possibly have. I was born with a chip on my shoulder and a berzerker temper to match it. I'm the little guy, but unlike him, I'm no pushover and give as good as I take."
Panel 3 - Weapon X facility. Wolverine is naked in a human-sized test-tube, his face filled with anguish. Scientists standing around him are injecting adamantium into his pores (you might want to check the Marvel Comics Presents comics or any online image reference about the Weapon X project and how Wolverine got his adamantium, Theo) Wolverine lets out a loud scream of pain.
Dialogue box: "The Weapon X project taught me the true meaning of pain. When you get hot molten metal injected into your pores, you'll know what I mean."
Panel 4 - Wolverine getting the adamantium pulled out of him by Magneto a la the cover (and interior) of X-Men #25
Dialogue box: "And just when I thought the pain could get no worse, along came Magnus to show me how wrong I was."
Panel 5 - Wolverine with his claws popped and his finger beckoning, a la the Frank Miller cover of Wolverine #1 (mini-series) (Click on the link to see the cover, Theo! Perhaps a "Snikt!" somewhere in the panel would be good as well)
Dialogue box: "But whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger.
Panel 6 - Same panel as the last one, but with Wolverine's half burned face and singed hair, a la the first panel of this script.
Dialogue box: "I'm the best there is at what I do, and what I do isn't very nice."
Panel 7 - The camera pulls out and we can see Wolverine standing behind a BBQ grill, with the flame reaching just below his face. It has obviously all gone wrong for him with the flame burning half his face off. Stuck on each of his three claws that have been popped (lower down, so that they aren't visible in the other previous panels) are three separate sausages...feel free to use either chicken wings or whatever else you want to signify that he's at a BBQ.
There are several other X-men at the BBQ and they're all standing impatiently in line, holding plates. Jubilee (or Jean Grey or any other X-Man you can think of that would be funny for this scene) is first in line and she is tapping her foot impatiently.
Jubilee: "Are you done yet?"
Wolverine: "Shut up."
Batman Vs Frank Miller
I just can't get over how bad Frank Miller's "I'm the goddamn Batman" line is from All-Star Batman, so while I was waiting to pick up Aeris from the train station yesterday, this idea came to me and I fleshed out the script in about five minutes.
Knowing how much you love Batman AND Frank Miller, I hope you get a kick out of this, Theo!
Panel 1 - Dialogue box at the top of the panel. Batman is perched atop a roof (either crouched or standing) looking down at the streets
"I can smell the musty thick coat of dried blood on every corner. I can hear the screams of the women being beaten up and raped by big sweaty men. If you walk down the right back alley in this town you can find anything. This city reeks of evil. This city reeks of SIN."
Panel 2 - Image same as the first - figured out where Batman is yet?
Dialogue box: "Gotham is like Metropolis, compared to this cesspool of a town. No one knows fear here. No one has..."
Word balloon coming from off-panel, from the right:
"Oi! What the #$%& are you doing on my set?"
Panel 3 - Batman turns and looks to the right. Frank Miller has walked into the panel.
Batman: "What, are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the goddamn Batman." (Theo, if you could make this appear EXACTLY the way the word balloons appear in All-Star Batman [see this blog entry of yours] that'd be great!)
Batman: "Who the hell are you?"
Panel 4 - Frank Miller speaks!
Frank: "I'm Frank Miller."
Panel 5 - Both characters just look at each other. Complete silence.
Panel 6 - Batman: "Think I can play Dwight in the next movie, Mr Miller?"
Knowing how much you love Batman AND Frank Miller, I hope you get a kick out of this, Theo!
Panel 1 - Dialogue box at the top of the panel. Batman is perched atop a roof (either crouched or standing) looking down at the streets
"I can smell the musty thick coat of dried blood on every corner. I can hear the screams of the women being beaten up and raped by big sweaty men. If you walk down the right back alley in this town you can find anything. This city reeks of evil. This city reeks of SIN."
Panel 2 - Image same as the first - figured out where Batman is yet?
Dialogue box: "Gotham is like Metropolis, compared to this cesspool of a town. No one knows fear here. No one has..."
Word balloon coming from off-panel, from the right:
"Oi! What the #$%& are you doing on my set?"
Panel 3 - Batman turns and looks to the right. Frank Miller has walked into the panel.
Batman: "What, are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the goddamn Batman." (Theo, if you could make this appear EXACTLY the way the word balloons appear in All-Star Batman [see this blog entry of yours] that'd be great!)
Batman: "Who the hell are you?"
Panel 4 - Frank Miller speaks!
Frank: "I'm Frank Miller."
Panel 5 - Both characters just look at each other. Complete silence.
Panel 6 - Batman: "Think I can play Dwight in the next movie, Mr Miller?"
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