LMS: Marvel Zombies Vs Dawn of the Dead Zombies Vs 28 Weeks Later Zombies

You know this would happen sooner or later, consider how aptly our blog is titled: A trifecta battle of zombies!

Cue klaxon blaring and a monster truck announcer yelling out:

ZOMBIES ZOMBIES ZOMBIES on SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!



Tale of the Tape

From:
Marvel Zombies - An alternate Marvel universe
Dawn of the Dead Zombies - Milwaukee, Wisconsin aka Cheese Country
28 Weeks Later Zombies - Dreary olde England

Powers:
Marvel Zombies - the adamantium claws and healing factor of Wolverine, the repulsor rays and many other weapons of Iron Man, the strength of the Hulk...basically all the powers of the heroes (and villains) of the Marvel Universe
Dawn of the Dead Zombies - able to run really fast
28 Weeks Later Zombies - able to grunt loudly, make really terrifying noises and explode messily

Disposition:
Marvel Zombies - often cheery, but occasionally pissed off
Dawn of the Dead Zombies - aggressive, violent and think the whole world owes them a feeding
28 Weeks Later Zombies - stoned, like permanently on weed and other drugs

Favourite body part to eat:
Marvel Zombies - spleen
Dawn of the Dead Zombies - liver
28 Weeks Later Zombies - brain

Human protagonist(s) that killed most of their numbers:
Marvel Zombies - Ashley J. Williams
Dawn of the Dead Zombies - Ving Rhames and Sarah Polley
28 Weeks Later Zombies - Cillian Murphy

THE PLAYERS:
Led by Colonel America, the Avengers sought to stop the invasion of their planet by an infected Sentry. But all it took was one bite, then another, and another, and soon the Marvel Universe ceased to exist, and born was a world...of Marvel Zombies!

No one knows what started the outbreak of infections that led to the rise of Zombies in Wisconsin. The zombie infection plague spread wide and fast across the state and soon the rest of America was infected in less than 36 hours. As the food supply drastically decreases, all the Dawn of the Dead Zombies can do...is feel even hungrier.

In England, chimpanzees that were dosed with the deadly "Rage virus" were freed by witless animal rights activists...who were the first to be attacked and bitten by the chimps, turning them into mindless zombies, seeking only to infect the rest of the United Kingdom!

THE BATTLE:
As Ashley J. Williams jumps through the wormhole created by the Necronomicon, he turns back and gives the Marvel Zombies (MZs) the finger. Enraged, Sorcerer Supreme Dr Strange casts a magical spell that keeps the wormhole open...and soon the MZs are jumping through the wormhole to catch the boomstick-wielding sonovagun! A hungry Hulk smashes his way to the front of the pack, only to accidentally crush Dr Strange's head, breaking his concentration and sending the MZs spinning wildly out of control in the wormhole and crash landing in the old remains of Big Ben in London.

"Wrrr?" one of the 28 Weeks Later Zombies (28WLZs) grunts, as it looks up just in time to catch a kick in the face from your friendly and rotting neighbourhood Spider-man. "Ewww...gross! I've heard of getting ahead, but this is ridiculous!" Spidey exclaims as the zombie's head explodes at the slightest of touches. The 28WLZs stop chasing a hapless Cillian Murphy and turn to face their new enemies. What they lack in firepower, they more than make up for in numbers, and the 28WLZs charge in blindly, hoping to swarm the MZs en masse.

Without warning, large ocean liner smashes into one of the jetties across the River Thames and the battle is soon joined by the Dawn of the Dead Zombies (DDZs), fresh from eviscerating Ving Rhames and Sarah Polley and making the transatlantic trip all the way from the US! The battle is joined as all the zombies start tearing into each other in an attempt to put their breed at the top of the food chain. Sinews tear, legs break, brains explode as the sound of gnashing and gnawing escalate to a feverish pitch.

An enraged Hulk goes ballistic and yells out: "RRRAAGH! Hulk mad! And the madder Hulk gets, the hungrier Hulk gets! Hulk hungriest one there is!" And with that, Hulk bites down on the head of a DDZ and an arm of a 28WLZ. "You no taste very good. Hulk feel sick," exclaims Hulk as he regurgitates the nasty rotting flesh from his mouth.

"Citizens, stop! Can't you see this fighting is pointless?" yells Colonel America, as he kicks a DDZ in the groin. "Why all this pointless fighting? We should be working together to look for fresh meat to feast on!" All the zombies give pause momentarily. Wolverine sniffs the air and locates Cillian Murphy, who's trying to hide unsuccessfully in the clock face of Big Ben. "GET HIM!" yells Luke Cage, as a mass of zombies all surge towards the hapless Murphy. "No no, get AWAY! Leave me alone! I was the Scarecrow in Batman Begins! I was the terrifying villain in Red Eye! I was..." But his words get cut short as Iron Man, able to move faster than all the other zombies, thanks to his armour, takes a big chomp out of Murphy's oesophagus.

"Come on guys! There's plenty of him for just us Avengers," Iron Man says, as he flies off with Murphy's body, motioning for the rest of the MZs to follow him. The DDZs and 28WLZs try to follow in vain as they realise their greatest failing: none of them can fly! The MZs all work together and fly, leap or swing their way away from the carnage, while the DDZs and 28WLZs are left stranded to wander around fruitlessly, wondering where their next meal will be coming from.

Winners: The Marvel Zombies


Hope that one went well. What do you think, Theo? There really shouldn't be any question about the Marvel Zombies winning this one...it's like Brazil taking on Singapore in football.